Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

 "We want your blood!" -Jeff Probst Survivor is back, baby!  I've made it a personal rule to keep my expectations low for all-star seasons.  Though I love Cambodia and Winners at War , I found All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains, and Game Changers  all to be disappointing seasons.  Season 50 made it easy for me to lower my expectations thanks to that awful trailer of celebrity cameos.  I'm still dreading Mr. Beast's arrival, but I do like the Boomerang Idol.  This episode had highs and lows, but I really enjoyed it overall and I'm ready for whatever ride 50 has in store.  Now, let's take a look at who played well and who sucked. Heads up, I'm treating this premiere as two separate episodes.  Everything through Jenna's boot is Part 1 and afterwards is Part 2, so I'll be giving out two Best and Worst Players of the Episode. Who Played Well: We'll start on Cila.  I love, love, love the alliance of Christian, Devens, and Emily.  I'd be total...

 "Crisis Alert!" -Garrett Lambert "Geography of Global Conflict" picks up with Annie (Alison Brie) in political science class, where she discovers she shares the class with Annie Kim (Irene Choi), who quickly becomes her rival as they both are extremely studious, intelligent, and competitive. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) finally starts taking her studies more seriously after choosing her major, but soon discovers an old friend has been arrested in Syria for protesting the government.  It makes Britta feel like she is wasting her life in college instead of "raging against the machine." Annie introduces Annie Kim to the study group and claims that they are friends, but the rest of the group can instantly see their intense dislike for the other.  Annie tells them that she is thinking about starting a Model UN on campus, but Annie Kim says she is too busy for that and leaves.  Later, Annie notices a flyer for Greendale's new Model UN, which was started by Annie...

 "You are the opposite of Batman! -Troy Barnes "Biology 101" picks up with Jeff (Joel McHale) daydreaming about having a fun and normal year at Greendale before coming back to the reality of study group minus Pierce (Chevy Chase), which Jeff is totally fine with.  Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) announce that they are moving in together and then Dean Pelton (Jim Rash) drops by to announce that he has adopted a no-nonsense attitude for the school year. Pierce arrives and asks to rejoin the group after spending the summer meditating, but Jeff says Biology is full.  Pierce suggests taking another class instead, but Jeff says they don't all need to be in the study group together to remain friends, which is just a scheme to keep Pierce out of the study group. In Biology class, they meet their professor, Marshall Kane (Michael K. Williams), who spent nearly two decades in prison and used that time to get his PhD.  He starts telling a story about how he watched a...

 "Yeah, I'm cooked, chat." -Rizo Velovic This was actually a really exciting finale, I thought.  I was rooting for Rizo and was a little surprised when he was taken out in fire-making, which left us a very flawed trio in the Final Tribal Council.  That's not a bad thing because it seemed fairly even across all three players.  I thought all of them had a shot at winning.  So often there is a very clear winner going into the Final Tribal Council, or at the very least one person is a clear goat.  It was fun to have a more evenly matched group of finalists, even if I didn't think any of their games were particularly impressive.  Anyway, let's get into who played well and who sucked, staring with the Final Five! Who Played Well: After Savannah won Immunity, one particularly insane option would have been for Sophi B, Sage, and Kristina to try and maybe get Rizo to play the Idol on someone else and blindside him out of the game.  Normally I'd write such ...

 "Britta, I've been in a few real wars, this one is actually the most terrifying." -Leonard Rodriguez "For A Few Paintballs More" picks up back in the middle of the paintball game.  Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) witness Pistol Patty and a squad of Stormtroopers enter the school.  Pistol Patty is revealed to be Stephen Spreck (Jordan Black), the Dean of City College.  Dean Spreck tells Dean Pelton (Jim Rash) that the entire paintball competition was just a clever way of getting Greendale students to destroy their own campus.  The Stormtroopers spot Troy and Abed and chase them off. The surviving Greendale paintballers meet up and Troy proposes they form an alliance to take down City College.  He deduces that the prize money must be real and that if a Greendale student wins, they can give the money to the school to undo the damage done by the paintball game.  The theme of the game changes from western to  Star Wars  and Abed takes ...

 "Have fun eating each other alive." -Rizo Velovic Lololololololololololololol.  The Knowledge is Power Advantage is one of my least favorite Advantages in all of Survivor and I am tickled pink that, once again, it failed.  It's never worked once and that makes me so happy.  I wish Jeff would take a damn hint and not use it again, but I doubt he will.  Anyway, let's get into who played well and who sucked. Who Played Well: I can't believe that anyone bought it, but it seems like Rizo managed to convince Kristina, Sage, and Steven that his Idol expired at the Final 6.  I truly hope they were all more skeptical than they appeared to be on screen because that's ridiculous.  He also managed to play his part in keeping Sophi B loyal to their trio, he held onto his Idol, and helped knock out Steven, his biggest threat. Savannah also played a big role in keeping Sophi B loyal.  I was skeptical of her choice to bring Rizo and Sophi B on Reward.  Thos...