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Showing posts from 2019

Black Christmas (1974) Review

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"Agnes, it's me, Billy." -Billy As Christmas break approaches, sorority sister Clare Harrison (Lynne Griffin) goes missing, while the rest of the house receives obscene phone calls from a strange man.  As the police search for Clare and the bodies start piling up, the remaining sisters don't realize the killer is inside their house. What Works: Black Christmas is one of the earliest slasher movies and it works really well.  The tension is palpable throughout the film because we know the killer is in the house.  We see him enter in the very first scene.  The other characters don't know it, but we do and we know he could strike at any time, which makes this a fun watch. The characters are also really solid and surprisingly progressive for 1974.  Barbara (Margot Kidder) and Mrs. Mac (Marian Waldman) are crass and drink heavily, which gives us some really fun moments.  The best character is our protagonist, Jess (Olivia Hussey).  She's a

Black Christmas (2019) Review

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"You messed with the wrong sisters!" -Kris Presley As winter break begins, the sorority sisters of MKE starts to go missing.  As the sisters fight for their survival, they also have to discover who is behind the attacks and what they find is worse than any of them could have imagined. What Works: This section will be extremely brief.  The only thing I appreciated about Black Christmas is the general story.  A group of sorority sisters taking on evil frat guys is a a fun idea and very different from the other movies in the series.  On paper, this sounds like a fun movie. What Sucks: Where do I even begin?  Black Christmas is the worst movie I have seen this year (haven't seen Cats yet).  Far and away the main problem with the movie is the characters.  The vast majority of them aren't memorable and the ones that are are unlikable.  Besides Kris (Aleyse Shannon), none of the girls have any personality. Speaking of Kris, while she does h

Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) Review

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"Did I die and turn into some kind of small, muscular boy scout?" -Milo Walker Three years after the events of the previous film, Spencer Gilpin (Alex Wolff) disappears into the world of Jumanji.  His friends, Martha (Morgan Turner), Fridge (Ser'Darius Blain), and Bethany (Madison Iseman), enter the game to try and find him, but accidentally drag in Spencer's grandfather, Eddie (Danny DeVito), and his friend, Milo (Danny Glover), as well.  As they help their elderly allies adjust to the game, the gang learns that Jumanji has changed and it's a whole new game. What Works: By far the best part of the movie is Kevin Hart acting like Danny Glover.  This time around, Milo gets the Kevin Hart avatar and it's nothing short of hilarious.  Hart's impression is spot on and watching him react to the insane world of Jumanji is priceless. A new element introduced in this movie is the ability to change characters.  This body switching is really fu

Better Watch Out (2017) Review

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"A thousand and one uses for duct tape." -Luke Lerner 12-year old Luke Lerner (Levi Miller) is being babysat by his crush, Ashley (Olivia DeJonge), while his parents are at a Christmas party.  His attempts to get her to like him are interrupted by a mysterious intruder and the holiday season takes a dark turn. Spoilers ahead!  I know this movie came out a couple of years ago, but it's really great and if you haven't seen it, go watch it.  This is one you should watch knowing nothing about it. What Works: Olivia DeJonge is great as our main protagonist.  She's likable and strong in the face of a despicable villain.  Ashely is an easy character to root for thanks to DeJonge's performance. Ed Oxenbould is also really great as Luke's best friend, Garrett.  The kid is such a loser and reminds me that most middle schoolers are awful.  He's funny at times and an excellent foil to Luke. The best part of the movie is the villa

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019) Review

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"People keep telling me they know me.  I'm afraid no one does." -Rey When Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) returns from the shadows with a massive star-fleet, it's a race against time for the Resistance to find a way to stop him.  In the midst of it all, Rey (Daisy Ridley) and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) are both convinced they can turn the other to their side. Spoilers ahead!  The Rise of Skywalker was a major disappointment and I can't recommend it. What Works: The characters of Rey and Kylo Ren have always been the best parts of the sequel trilogy.  They are both very interesting characters and I love their dynamic.  They have great chemistry even when they face the other down.  Their story and scenes together are by far the best parts of The Rise of Skywalker . The action sequences are solid all around.  I really enjoyed the chase in the desert it felt like classic Star Wars and it even gave me an Indiana Jones vibe. The other gr

Survivor: Island of the Idols Finale "Mama, Look at Me Now" Analysis

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"I'm never looking down on you...anymore." -Noura Salman It's over!  It's finally over!   Island of the Idols is definitely one of the worst seasons of Survivor , which is too bad because it had a very strong pre-merge.  It has hands down the worst post-merge of the entire show, and an okay winner.  I did really like this finale though and I'm still excited to talk about this gameplay, so let's get into the Final Five. Who Played Well: Dean had a stellar round of play in the Final Five.  He found a very tricky Hidden Immunity Idol and suckered a bunch of information out of Tommy.  I loved it for Dean.  He also won Immunity, repaired his relationship with Noura, and knocked Janet, the biggest threat, out of the game.  It really couldn't have gone much better for Dean here. Getting rid of Janet was also a very good move for Lauren and Noura.  I also liked how Noura made a Final Three deal with Dean.  She had no shot of winning,

Dark Waters (2019) Review

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"They have all the money, all the firepower, and they'll use it.  I know, I was one of them." -Robert Bilott Based on true events, Robert Bilott (Mark Ruffalo), a corporate defense attorney, is approached by a farmer who's land is next to a landfill owned by DuPont, a chemical company.  The farmer, Wilbur Tennant (Bill Camp), claims that DuPont is dumping chemicals where they are not permitted.  Robert starts looking into DuPont and discovers something far more sinister than he could have imagined. What Works: Mark Ruffalo is very solid in the role and is a great vessel for the audience.  You feel his rage and hopelessness as he uncovers the awful truth.  Watching him confront the CEO of DuPont is very satisfying and he really makes you feel how crushing each setback is. Tim Robbins has the best moment of the entire movie and it comes out of nowhere.  Robbins plays Robert's boss and for the first chunk of the movie, he is exactly what you

Queen & Slim (2019) Review

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"Well if it ain't the black Bonnie and Clyde." -Uncle Earl After a mediocre first date, Slim (Daniel Kaluuya) gives Queen (Jodie Turner-Smith) a ride home when they are stopped by a cop.  The encounter goes south and Slim kills the cop in self-defense.  Now these two virtual strangers have to leave everything they know behind and make a run for it with only each other to rely on. What Works: I really like the characters of both Queen and Slim.  They are extremely different individuals with very little in common.  Queen is logical and cold, while Slim is very emotional, religious, and family-oriented.  It's an interesting dynamic.  At it's core, this is a movie about two strangers who have to go on the run together and end up falling in love.  These characters make it work. Daniel Kaluuya is a fantastic actor and the best aspect of the movie.  He really brings the performance and the phone call he has with his father is heartbreaking.  He i

South Park: Season 23 Finale "Christmas Snow" Review

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"You want me to do a Christmas Special?" -Randy Marsh Season 23 begins its wrap up with a Christmas festival in South Park.  As the townsfolk partake in their favorite holiday pastime, drinking and driving, Santa Claus gets upset and gets the sale of alcohol banned until the new year. The townsfolk are bummed out, so Mayor McDaniels gets Randy to help.  He creates a new strain of weed that is infused with cocaine.  This lifts the town's spirits until Santa gets the sale of marijuana prohibited until the new year. Randy manages to get cocaine legalized, so Santa resorts to stealing the cocaine from everyone.  Randy and Towelie give chase and crash Santa's slay.  Randy gets Santa to try the cocaine and gets Mr. Claus on his side.  Jesus tries to step in, but once he tries the cocaine, he gets on board as well.  They spread the cocaine all across town and everyone gets high and drives, ready to enjoy the holidays. What Works: I was a really b

Survivor: Island of the Idols, Episode 12 "Just Go for It" Analysis

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"Oh no!  Words!" -Elaine Stott Wow.  This was a shocking episode.  I'm glad to see Dan go, but it shouldn't have taken this long.  The rest of the episode was very entertaining with some interesting gameplay.  Let's take a closer look. Who Played Well We'll start with Dean who managed to get himself off the bottom and into a Final Three deal with Tommy and Dan (even if that won't be happening any more).  He also spotted Janet and Tommy finding the Idol, won the Idol Nullifier, won Immunity, and got rid of Elaine.  I do think he gave away too much information about his Nullifier to his alliance, but overall it was a solid episode for Dean. Finally, we have Tommy, who pulled Dean into a Final Three with himself and Dan, which was a great spot for Tommy.  He also managed to get rid of Elaine. Who Sucked Janet and Lauren made a bad call in knocking out Elaine.  They've weakened their position and should have gone after No

Frozen II (2019) Review

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"Maturity is making me poetic." -Olaf Elsa (Idina Menzel) starts hearing a strange and beautiful voice calling to her and she is the only one that can hear it.  Elsa, Anna (Kristen Bell), Kristoff (Jonathan Groff), Olaf (Josh Gad), and Sven all journey north to discover the origin of the voice.  Things get dark when they uncover the past hidden in the enchanted forest. What Works: The best part of Frozen II is the animation.  This movie is a work of art and visually stunning.  They make excellent use of light and color and I especially like how the water looks. There's also some really excellent music.  Nothing reaches the heights of "Let it Go," but Idina Menzel is fantastic when she sings both "Into the Unknown" and "Show Yourself."  She has an incredible voice.  I also really liked Kristoff's 80's power ballad, "Lost in the Woods."  It's utterly bizarre and watching the reindeer sing was one of the fu

Ranking the Terminator Movies

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After watching Terminator: Dark Fate , I decided to go back and rewatch the entire series so I can rank them.  Talk about diminishing returns.  The top part of the list is probably pretty predictable, so we'll start from the top and go down into the dregs of the series.  Let's do this! #1. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) Obviously T2 was going to be number one.  How could it not be?  It's a rare sequel that improves on the original in every way.  The action scenes are top notch, we get excellent performances from Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, and Robert Patrick, and a haunting scene with a nuclear blast.  Whoever decided to make Arnold the good guy this time around was genius.  This is such a thrilling and entertaining movie that not even Edward Furlong's annoying performance can ruin it.  10/10: Amazing  #2. The Terminator (1984) This is where the predictability ends with this rankdown.  Everyone knew the original movie would take second.

Terminator: Genisys (2015) Review

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"There aren't enough bullets in the world to kill me." -John Connor Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) is sent back in time to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) from the machines only to find she is a hardened survivalist and is working with a T-800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger) to survive.  With a new mission to destroy Skynet once and for all, they soon discover their ultimate foe, John Conner (Jason Clarke) himself. What Works: This movie gets a lot of flack, but I have to admit, I kinda like.  It's entertaining, all right!?  The action sequences are a lot of fun.  The Golden Gate Bridge sequence is really exciting and all of the stuff in 1984 is fun. I like the reversal of everything we knew about the original Terminator .  It's fun to see Sarah be a badass from the start.  The fights they have have with the T-1000 (Byung-Hun Lee) are a blast.  I know it's just the filmmakers trying to cash in on our love for the first and second movie, but

Frozen (2013) Review

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"Some people are worth melting for." -Olaf After the King and Queen of Arendelle are lost at sea, their oldest daughter, Elsa (Idina Menzel), is to become Queen.  Elsa has mysterious powers that allow her to create ice and snow, but she keeps her powers hidden from everyone, even her sister, Anna (Kristen Bell).  After being crowned Queen, her powers are discovered and Elsa flees the kingdom and leaves it snowed it.  Anna has no choice but to go after her sister to thaw Arendelle. What Works: The voice acting is fantastic all around.  The entire cast does a fantastic job and give the characters distinct personalities.  Kristen Bell gives us a very likable protagonist and Jonathan Groff's Kristoff is an unusual and fun love interest. Josh Gad is probably the best part of the movie as the comic-relief, Olaf.  I know the character has become over-saturated, but he's still great in this movie.  He has the best lines, some dark jokes, light-heart

Ranking the Rocky Movies

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So I just watched Creed II and finished the Rocky series.  I'm not a huge sports movie guy so I was surprised about how much I enjoyed these films.  I liked every single one of them, even one I know most people don't like.  But one of these movies has to be the best and one has to be the worst, so let's rank these bad boys from best to worst. #1. Rocky (1976) I mean, what else was it going to be?  The original Rocky is just so great.  The acting is incredible.  Stallone really gets the character of Rocky Balboa.  It's impressive from a production standpoint because of its low budget and the climatic battle between Rocky and Apollo Creed is nothing short of epic.  What else do you need?   9/10: Great  #2. Creed II (2018) This may be one of my more controversial placements.  I hear most people say Creed is better than the sequel, but I loved this movie.  It has the best villains of the series, my favorite boxing match of the series, excellent directio