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Showing posts from October, 2018

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) Review

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"You are, like, this close to getting voted off the island." -Jen Danzing Halloween: Resurrection begins with Michael Myers (Brad Loree) finally managing to track down and kill his sister, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis).  His mission complete, Michael returns to the house he grew up in only to find it being used in a reality web series produced by Freddie Harris (Busta Rhymes).  Michael begins to stalk and kill the cast and crew and his rampage is broadcast across the web for all the world to see. What Works: There is one line in this movie that is utter gold and it is said by Busta Rhymes after he kicks down a door to fight Michael, "Trick or treat, motherf***er!"  This line and a few of the reactions of the people watching the show online are literally the only redeeming qualities of this movie. What Sucks: H20 gave us the perfect ending to the series.   Halloween: Resurrection just had to come along and ruin it by  revealing tha

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998) Review

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"If you wanna stay handcuffed to your dead brother, that's fine, but you're dragging me along, not anymore!" -John Tate Ignoring the events of the 4th, 5th, and 6th movies, H20 picks up with Michael Myers murdering Marion Chambers (Nancy Stephens), the nurse who was with Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) on the night of his escape.  Michael finds the location of his sister, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), in Marion's office and travels across the country to find her.  Laurie is in hiding, living under a new name, and is the headmistress of a boarding school, which her son, John (Josh Hartnett), attends.  Laurie has been unable to get over her encounter with Michael and every Halloween, she dreads that he will come back.  This year, she's right... What Works: H20 has some really great actors in the cast, which works wonders for the film.  Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, and Adam Arkin all do an especially great job and they have wonder

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) Review

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"It's his game, and I know where he wants to play it." -Dr. Sam Loomis It's been six years since the previous film and in that time Jamie Lloyd (J.C. Brandy) and Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) have been held prisoner by the mysterious Cult of Thorn.  After Jamie gives birth to a son, she manages to escape from the Cult with Michael unleashed to go after her.  Jamie is quickly killed by her uncle, but manages to get her son into the hands of Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd), the little boy from the first movie who Laurie Strode was babysitting.  As Michael returns to Haddonfield to hunt down Jamie's son, Tommy enlists the help of Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) to help him stop Michael once and for all. What Works: Once again, this segment will be short.  I will say that I liked Paul Rudd as our protagonist.  This character has been traumatized by his encounter with Michael and Rudd gives the character a little bit of crazy.  When he sees Michael agai

Basket Case (1982) Review

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"What's in the basket?" -Sharon Duane Bradley (Kevin Van Hentenryck) arrives in New York City with a large basket and stays in a seedy hotel.  The other guests start hearing strange noises coming from his room and people are starting to end up dead.  Inside the basket is the deformed twin brother of Duane , Belial.  They were born conjoined and later surgically separated against their will.  The brothers are out for revenge on the doctors who separated them and Belial will kill anyone who gets in his way, even Duane if he's not careful. What Works: Basket Case is a sleazy b-movie and it knows it.  It doesn't try to pretend it's something it's not and really respect that.  A large chunk of the movie takes place in a seedy hotel, which gives us all sorts of unsavory characters and I really like the atmosphere of the film.  It's trying to be a gross movie and it totally succeeds at that. Belial himself is very unpleasant to look

Stir of Echoes: The Homecoming (2007) Review

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"Nothing is random anymore." -Jake Witzky After being injured in Iraq, National Guardsman Ted Cogan (Rob Lowe) returns to his home in Chicago, but he starts having visions that don't seem to be PTSD.  As a few of his visions start coming true, Ted is compelled to investigate a recent violent murder, but he discovers something more awful that he can imagine. What Works: Rob Lowe does a fine job as the protagonist of the film.  He's nowhere near as good as Kevin Bacon, but he's solid, likable (by far the most likable character in the movie), and you do want him to succeed. There are a few creepy effects here and there with the best one being a scene where Ted is trapped in an elevator that is extremely hot.  We get to see the elevator buttons melting and it looks pretty cool. The 3rd act actually takes the movie in an unexpected direction when we learn the culprits behind the brutal murder of Farzan (Vik Sahay) are actually Ted's son

Survivor: David vs. Goliath "Jackets and Eggs" Analysis

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"We're not playing Survivor lite this season." -Nick Wilson "Jackets and Eggs" may be the funniest episode of Survivor I've seen in a long time.  So many hysterical moments, some of which will end up being iconic.  It was fun having an episode that focused so much on survival, the elements, and social interactions.  We did get less strategy than normal, but that's okay, variety is the spice of life.  Let's take a look a the gameplay we did get. Who Played Well: Starting over on the Vuku tribe, we didn't see much of Alec after his crazy move last week, but he did win the Immunity Challenge for his tribe saving himself and Kara. As for Kara, I thought she did a good job throwing Alec under the bus.  Who knows if it will work, but it's all she can do right now and it's nice to see her being able to keep calm and focus on what she has to do for her game. Finally, we have Elizabeth, who saw right through what Kar

Lost: Season 1 Episode 4 "Walkabout" Review

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"Don't tell me what I can't do!" -John Locke "Walkabout" begins with the survivors of Oceanic 815 hearing noises in the fuselage of the plane and they discover wild boars inside.  John Locke (Terry O'Quinn) claims to be able to hunt the boars and has a suitcase full of knives.  He recruits Kate (Evangeline Lilly) and Michael (Harold Perrineau) to assist him on the hunt. Sayid (Naveen Andrews) builds an antenna that will help triangulate the source of the French distress call and gives it to Kate.  The hunting party is attacked by a boar and Michael is injured.  Locke continues after the boar, while Kate and Michael make their way back to camp.  On the way, Kate stops to put the antenna in a tree, but drops it when she hears the monster making its way towards Locke, which causes the antenna to break.  She and Michael make it back and Sayid is resolved to try again. Jack comes to the conclusion they need to burn the fuselage and the bo

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) Review

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"I'm never sensible if I can help it!" -Tina Williams One year after the events of Halloween 4 , Michael Myers (Don Shanks) is back to kills his niece, Jamie Lloyd (Danielle Harris), who has been rendered mute after her traumatic experience in the previous film.  As Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) and Sheriff Ben Meeker (Beau Starr) do all they can to protect Jamie, a mysterious Man in Black (Also played by Don Shanks) arrives in Haddonfield with his own sinister intentions. What Works: This section will be very short as, spoilers, this movie is terrible!  But, as in the previous films, Donald Pleasence and Danielle Harris both do a great job.  Pleasence is given some terrible dialogue, but he manages to sell it every time and I will never get tired of him yelling crazy stuff and being mean to children. Even with her character being mute for half of the movie, which was a terrible decision, Danielle Harris still gives a wonderful performance.

The Monster Squad (1987) Review

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"Bogus." -Frankenstein's Monster Once every hundred years, a magical amulet that keeps good and evil in balance becomes vulnerable to destruction.  As the date approaches, Count Dracula (Duncan Reghr) assembles his forces including; the Mummy (Michael MacKay), the Wolf Man (Jon Gries), the Creature from the Black Lagoon (Tom Woodruff Jr.), and Frankenstein's Monster (Tom Noonan) to destroy the amulet, but a group of kids, known as the Monster Squad, know all of the monsters weaknesses and are prepared to fight to save the world. What Works: I just recently learned about the existence of this movie and I wish I had known about The Monster Squad years ago.  I love the Universal Monsters and have always wanted a movie like this to exist and, for the most part, it delivers.  The last thirty minutes are an absolute blast as the large cast of characters take on the various monsters.  It's a ton of fun and a wild ride.  It delivers on the level of g

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) Review

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"I got a town full of beer-bellies running around in the dark with shotguns" -Sheriff Ben Meeker Ten years after the events Halloween II, Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) awakens from a coma in the middle of being transferred to a different institution.  He quickly starts killing his way back to Haddonfield, where his young niece, Jamie Lloyd (Danielle Harris), lives with her foster family.  As Michael rampages through town, Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) returns to try and stop his former patient once and for all. What Works: As per usual, Donald Pleasence is fantastic as Dr. Loomis and frequently comes off as unhinged as Michael is.  He's a great character and every scene with him is gold.  I particularity love the scene where he hitches a ride with a crazy, drunk reverend (Carmen Filpi), has a drink with him, and smiles while the reverend sings. A welcome new addition to the series is scream queen Danielle Harris in her first role.  Child

The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue (1998) Review

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"He's turned the humans into dogs!" -Jenny McBride After the events of the first film, Mrs. Brisby (Debi Mae West) sends her youngest son, Timmy (Ralph Macchio), to Thorn Valley, a colony of rats that previously escaped from NIHM (The National Institute of Mental Health), to train and learn how to be a hero.  Several years later, a young female mouse, Jenny McBride (Hynden Walch), arrives at Thorn Valley to tell them there are still animals being held prisoner at NIMH and they are being experimented on.  When the rats of Thorn Valley refuse to help, Timmy teams up with Jenny when he finds out his brother Martin, (Eric Idle), is being held prisoner at NIMH.  The two of them and some friends infiltrate NIMH, but soon discover exactly what has happened to Martin...and it's worse than anyone could have imagined. What Works: This section will be brief.  The best part of this movie if Eric Idle.  He commits to his insane performance 100%.  It's no

Mystic River (2003) Review

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"The reality is we're still 11-year old boys locked in a cellar imagining what our lives would have been if we'd escaped." -Det. Sean Devine Three childhood friends, who were driven apart by a traumatic experience, are forced to reconnect after the daughter of one of them, Jimmy Markum (Sean Penn), is murdered.  An ex con, Jimmy uses his contacts to investigate his daughter's death, while Sean Devine (Kevin Bacon), now a detective, does the same using legal resources.  The 3rd friend, Dave Boyle (Tim Robbins), has become increasingly unstable, having been the most effected by the childhood trauma, and the possibility that Dave is the killer becomes more and more likely. What Works  This film is 100% carried by the acting.  Both Sean Penn and Tim Robbins won Oscars for their performances and they are both incredible.  I think Sean Penn's performance when he realizes his daughter is dead may be the best grieving parent performance I have e

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) Review

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"STOP IT!" -Dr. Daniel Challis Halloween III: Season of the Witch (which has nothing to do with Michael Myers) follows Dr. Daniel Challis (Tom Atkins) who is working a late shit at the hospital when Harry Grimbridge (Al Berry) shows up holding a Silver Shamrock Halloween mask and saying, "They're going to kill us.  All of us."  Later that night, a man in a suit murders Harry before burning himself alive outside the hospital.  Disturbed by the series of events, Daniel teams up with Harry's daughter, Ellie (Stacey Nelkin), and heads off to Silver Shamrock's headquarters to investigate.  They soon uncover a terrible plot by the owner of the company, Conal Cochran (Dan O'Herlihy), to play a macabre practical joke on children on Halloween night. What Works: This movie gets a really bad rap for the lack of Michael Myers, but this is honestly one of my favorites in the series.  For starters the kills in this movie are insane and grues

Halloween II (1981) Review

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"I shot him six times!" -Dr. Sam Loomis Halloween II picks up immediately where the first movie ended.  As Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) continues his search for Michael Myers (Dick Warlock), the town of Haddonfield becomes more and more unstable and the bodies continue to pile up.  Meanwhile, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is taken to a nearby hospital to recover from her ordeal.  Unfortunately, Michael is on his way to visit her and he will kill anyone who gets in his way. What Works: Donald Pleasence is simply a fantastic actor and is my favorite part of most of the Halloween movies he is in.  He has such amazing line deliveries, even if some of what he says doesn't make much sense, Pleasence still manages to sell it.  Dr. Loomis is a great character and I like that he gets more to do in this movie than the original.  He has just the right amount of crazy going for him and when he fires a warning shot to make the marshal turn around, I can&

South Park: Season 22 Episode 4 "Tegridy Farms" Review

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"Don't forget to bring a towel." -Randy Marsh After Shelly Marsh gets in trouble for sending inappropriate pictures to the recess monitor, Randy has had enough and moves his family out of town to run a hemp farm together.  Randy grows such quality product that he is approached by a representative from a vaping company who wants to sell his product, but Randy looks down on vaping and refuses.  As the company starts buying out nearby farms to run Randy out of business, he has no choice to take but to take down the vape company with his fists and a little help from a familiar towel. At school, Kyle discovers his little brother, Ike, and the rest of the kindergartners are all vaping and buy their materials from Butters, who is working for Cartman.  As Kyle tries to stop Cartman and Butters, he is dragged deeper into the underbelly of vaping as Cartman and Butters try to find a way out of the business and pay off the money they owe.  They end up at the vaping