My Bloody Valentine (1981) Review

When I said I'll give you my heart, I didn't mean literally...

In a small, Canadian, mining town, during the Valentine's Day dance, an explosion traps five miners underground.  When the rescue party finally reaches them, only one is still alive, Harry Warden (Peter Cowper), who went insane and ate his fellow miners.  A year later, Harry returned to town and murdered two of the mine's supervisors.  Now, 20 years later, it's Valentine's Day again, and the bodies are starting to pile up.  Is Harry Warden back on the hunt, or is someone else copycatting Warden for their own nefarious reasons?

What Works:

For a slasher film, My Bloody Valentine has a really cool setting.  Instead of your typical teenagers staying in a cabin in the woods, this film follows a group of young adults who for for the small town's mine.  And a good chunk of the movie takes place in the mine itself.  This presents the opportunity for some really different and interesting scenes and deaths.  My Bloody Valentine doesn't always seize the opportunity, but the setting is still cool, nonetheless.

Comic relief characters in horror movies can be very hit-or-miss.  More often than not, they just come off has obnoxious and irritating.  This sin't the case here.  We have two comic relief characters in this film.  First is Howard (Alf Humphreys), the new guy at work.  He could very easily veer off into obnoxious territory, but a lot of his jokes are actually funny, and the one times he does go too far, he is sincerely apologetic, which really humanizes his character.  Secondly, the best character in the movie is Hollis (Keith Knight), who has a few funny moments, but also seems like a really good guy. This film has very few memorable characters, and most that are, are memorable for the wrong reasons.  But Hollis seems like a very genuine, nice guy.  Someone that you would want to be your friend.  I can't say that about most 80's-slasher film characters.

What Sucks:

The MPAA gutted the gore out of this movie.  It's virtually nonexistent.  It's a shame because if you watch the uncut version, there are some amazing kills in there.  The theatrical version has basically nothing.  

The three leads of this movie are all extremely unlikeable.  T.J. (Paul Kelman), Sarah (Lori Hallier), and Axel (Neil Affleck) are all caught up in a love triangle.  While the writing for them seems pretty realistic, it does nothing but make me wish death on them all.  Spoiler Alert:

None of them die!  It's really frustrating to watch the few likable characters in this movie die, but the ones you can't stand live.  It's fine if your movie has an unlikeable protagonist, but at least have the common courtesy to kill them off.

Verdict:

My Bloody Valentine could have been a great slasher movie.  It had a fantastic setting and some amazing kills, as well as solid relief.  Unfortunately, insufferable lead characters and the MPAA forcing the gore to be cut gives a relatively mediocre slasher movie.  My Bloody Valentine does not have it going on.

 4/10: Eh... 

 6/10: Ok (Uncut Version)