Chopping Mall (1986) Review

"Waitress, more butter!"
-Big Eater



Park Plaza Mall has just installed a new security system consisting of three robots armed to the teeth with gadgets for stopping shoplifters.  A lightning storm causes the robots to malfunction and they begin a killing spree.  A group of teenagers are having an after-hours party in the mall and quickly find themselves trapped inside.  They have to find what weapons they can and fight back against the robots if they want to make it out of the mall alive.


What Works:

I really appreciate how efficient this film is.  Chopping Mall has very little fluff and a 76 minute runtime.  The setup is very straightforward and explains how the security system works, then we meet our characters, get to their party, and start the carnage in quick succession.  This film has excellent pacing and gets us to what we came for very quickly.

Most of the characters in Chopping Mall are very competent.  They arm themselves quickly and immediately start working on plans to destroy the robots.  It's very refreshing to have characters like this in an 80's slasher movie and this makes them easier to root for than your usual batch of horny teenagers.

The film also has some very funny moments and almost gets meta at some points.  The comedy is solid and I have to give props to the writers and actors for getting some genuine laughs out of me.

Finally, THIS MOVIE HAS A FREAKIN' HEAD EXPLOSION!  That's the easiest way to win me over.  I love watching heads explode and Chopping Mall's is an all time great.  It's by far the best kill in the film and amazing to watch.


What Sucks:

Not all of the acting was great.  Most of the actors are serviceable, but Russell Todd, who plays Rick, is pretty awful.  Most of his line deliveries are cringe-worthy and I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth.

Apart from the aforementioned head-explosion and one character who gets set on fire, I didn't care for any of the kills.  Most of them were bloodless, boring and pretty bland for a slasher movie.

Finally, while most of the character decisions were fairly well thought-out, there were a few that were half-baked, with the biggest offender coming from Suzie (Barbara Crampton).  Her hysterical decision to get out of the air vents was very annoying and nonsensical.  And to make matters worse, the other characters that are with her decide to follow her.  Go and get help!  They could do far more good in helping their friends by getting outside help rather than following one back inside the mall.  


Verdict:

Chopping Mall is a very fun slasher movie, with a great setting, efficient storytelling, and mostly competent characters.  Plus it has a head explosion!  The acting isn't all there, most of the kills are bland, and there are few very stupid character decisions, but this movie has still got it going on.

 7/10: Good 

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