Puppet Master (1989) Review

"I'm the master, and you're the puppet!"

-Neil Gallagher

A group of psychics experience visions that compel them to travel to the Bodega Bay Inn.  They expect to find an old college of theirs, Neil Gallagher (Jimmie F. Skaggs), but instead find him dead.  They become determined to finish Neil's quest; to find a hidden stash of puppets that have been magically brought to life.  The puppets are indeed at the hotel, but are acting under murderous orders.

What Works:

Easily the best part of this movie are the puppets.  Most of them have interesting designs.  I especially like Jester who has a face divided into three parts and they spin independently of each other.  It's a really cool design.  My favorite is probably Blade.  Yeah, he has a knife for a hand and murderous tendencies, but I think he's kinda adorable.

Most of the kills are pretty lackluster, but there are two good ones.  One involves leeches and it's disgusting to watch.  I actually had a hard time looking at the TV and that is a rare occurrence for me.  The final kill of the movie is extremely over-the-top, with all of the puppets coming together to brutally commit murder.  It's pretty great.

Finally, the set-up for the movie is intriguing.  I was expecting to follow some crappy teenagers through the film as is typically the case in terrible horror movies, but we get a group of psychics instead.  It's not groundbreaking by any means, but it's at least an interesting setup, even if the payoff leaves a lot to be desired.

What Sucks:

The story does feel like a major missed opportunity.  The psychics don't really do anything.  They just get picked off one by one.  It took me two seconds to think of a more interesting plot.  Have the psychics searching the hotel for the puppets.  Maybe they find some hidden rooms.  This could have been a treasure hunt/horror film and could have been really fun, but what we get instead is just bland.

And I mean really bland.  This movie is exactly 90 minutes and I swear almost nothing of consequence happens.  We get a handful of death scenes and a few dream sequences.  That's it.  There really isn't any other plot development.  It's a real snooze.

The opening sequence of the movie is way too long.  It involves Blade making his way to André Toulon's (William Hickey) room to warn him that Nazis have arrived to get him.  It's just drawn out for way too long and should have been trimmed down.

Finally, apart from the two kills I mentioned earlier, the rest of the deaths are very lame.  One involves a puppet with a drill for a head, but it's done off-screen.  Another person is just hit with a fire poker.  The audience for movies like this want cool kills and Puppet Master doesn't have enough of them.

Verdict:

Puppet Master has some awesome puppets and a couple of cool kills, but the story reeks of unfulfilled potential, it's mostly boring, and far too long.  Stay away from this one.

 3/10: Really Bad