Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

"We are not here to tell stories.  We are here to tell the truth." -Colonel Horst Lagerfeld The third season of Fargo opens in East Berlin, 1988.  Colonel Horst Lagerfeld (Sylvester Groth) interrogates Jakob Ungerleider (Fabian Busch) about the murder of a woman named Helga.  Colonel Lagerfeld says Helga's boyfriend, Yuri Gurka, killed her and since Yuri's registered address is the same as Jakob's, he must be Yuri.  Jakob continually denies this, but the interrogation is not going in his favor as we shift ahead to Minnesota, 2010. Emmit Stussy (Ewan McGregor) is throwing a party to celebrate the 25th anniversary of his marriage to Stella (Linda Kash).  Also in attendance is Emmit's little brother, Ray (Also played by Ewan McGregor), who has a chip on his shoulder in regards to his brother.  When their father died, Emmit was left his father's Corvette, while Ray was left his stamp collection.  Ray begged Emmit to trade with him, which h...

"We don't save lives.  Tonight we take lives.  We can't have interference.  We can't have heroes." -Big Daddy Once again, it's time for the annual Purge .  Anarchy tells the story of three groups of people who get trapped outside on Purge Night in Los Angeles and must band together to survive.  Shane and Liz (Zach Gilford and Kiele Sanchez) are a married couple with relationship issues.  Their car breaks down in the middle of the city just before the start of the Purge.  Waitress Eva Sanchez (Carmen Ejogo) and her daughter, Cali (Zoë Soul), get taken from their apartment by a mysterious army led by Big Daddy (Jack Conley).  Both groups are rescued by Sergeant Leo Barnes (Frank Gillo), who is well armed and highly skilled at killing.  Barnes is out on a quest for revenge, but is convinced to help the others survive the night as they avoid Big Daddy and the others ruthless and psychotic Purgers. What Works: The is the Purge...

"No rules this time." -Matt Graver After a group of terrorists strike Kansas City, it's discovered that they came over the boarder through Mexico, transported in via the cartel.  CIA Agent Matt Graver (Josh Brolin) is given a mission to start a war between the cartels.  Graver brings in lawyer-turned hitman, Alejandro Gillick (Benicio Del Toro), to help him.  Their attacks go well, managing to start a war between the cartels after they kidnap Isabela Reyes (Isabela Moner), daughter of one of the cartel leaders.   But their operation falls apart when their convoy is attacked.  Matt and Alejandro are separated and suddenly the allies now have different objectives, and a lot of people will die before it is all sorted out. Heads up: there will be spoilers ahead.  Very quickly; I did not care for this movie.  It's an average movie, but a poor Sicario sequel.  I can't recommend it to people who were fans of the original.  If...

"That's no moon.  It's a space station." -Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi In possession of the technical readout of the evil Empire's super weapon, the Death Star, Princess Leia's (Carrie Fisher) ship is captured by the ruthless Darth Vader (James Earl Jones).  She gives the plans to a droid, R2-D2 (Kenny Baker), who escapes the ship with his companion, C-3PO (Anthony Daniels).  They land on the desert plant of Tatooine, where they end up in the possession of Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamil), a moisture farmer who dreams of something much greater.  With the Empire in hot pursuit of the droids, Luke has to leave his home and team up with former Jedi, Ben Kenobi (Alec Guinness), and smugglers Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) to get the Death Star's plans into the hands of the Rebellion if they want any hope of stopping the Empire. What Works: A New Hope is a classic for a reason and even today it sill holds up wonderfull...

"I'm not just another pretty face." -The Toxic Avenger Melvin Ferd (Mark Torgl) is a scrawny nerd who works as a janitor at the local gym in Tromaville, New Jersey.  He is not well liked and manages to find himself facing the wrath of a group of homicidal teens, led by Bozo (Gary Schneider).  Bozo's gang decides to play a prank on Melvin, which results in him falling out a window into a barrel of toxic waste.  Melvin begins to mutate and become The Toxic Avenger (Mitch Cohen), a beastly monster, hideous and violent, but surprisingly well spoken.  He becomes the town's protector as he gets revenge on Bozo and his gang, but also starts to take on the violent psychopaths and scum that are ruining Tromaville.  The Toxic Avenger is cleaning up the streets, but corrupt Mayor Peter Belgoody (Pat Ryan Jr.) will do anything to stop him. What Works: The biggest positive The Toxic Avenger has is the over-the-top levels of gore.  This movie ...

"He doesn't need words." -Naadirah Leo (Alexander Skarsgård) is a bartender who was left mute after a childhood accident.  When his girlfriend, Naadirah (Seyneb Saleh), goes missing, Leo is forced to delve deep into the underworld of Berlin to find her.  On his journey, he meets many violent and shady characters, including two surgeons, Cactus Bill (Paul Rudd) and Duck (Justin Theroux), who have problems of their own with Bill trying to flee the country.  Their paths are all on a collision course of violence and depravity. What Works: I gotta say, Mute is a beautiful movie on its surface.  The visuals are breathtaking and there some really excellent shots, not to mention a few really cool practical effects.  Also, Alexander Skarsgård does a solid job with what he is given.  Unfortunately, this is all wasted as you'll see when we get to the "What Sucks" section... What Sucks: I need to take a shower after watching this movie....

"What is our mission?" -Kate Macer "To dramatically overreact." -Matt Graver After a raid on a suspected cartel safe house that is filled with corpses and booby traps, FBI Agent Kate Macer (Emily Blunt) is recruited to a Departed of Justice task force, which is led by Matt Graver (Josh Brolin).  She is told their goal is to take down cartel lieutenant, Manuel Díaz (Bernardo Saracino), and to do that they are going to El Paso to see Díaz's brother.  However, after arriving in El Paso , Kate discovers they are actually going across the border into Ciudad Juárez to extradite the brother.  As the mission continues, Kate is repeatedly not told everything that is going on, and her suspicion of both Matt and his associate, Alejandro Gillick (Benicio del Toro), continues to rise as the mission gets more violent and less ethical. What Works  The pacing of Sicario is excellent.  This movie is two hours long and it flies by.  The firs...

"Tomorrow morning we go home to bathe in that warm champagne that is corporate praise." -Mike Milligan  The final episode of season 2 of Fargo starts off with a montage sequence showing us all of the dead bodies of the Gerhardt family before taking us back to the Solverson home, where Betsy (Cristin Milioti) learns that she has been getting the real pills to treat her cancer not the placebos.  Unfortunately, her body has rejected the pills and if she continues to take them, they will kill her before the cancer can. Back in Sioux Falls, Ed and Peggy Blumquist (Jesse Plemons and Kirsten Dunst) are on the run with Hanzee Dent (Zahn McClarnon) in hot pursuit.  Hanzee manages to shoot Ed, but the Blumquists take cover in a freezer in the back of a grocery store.   Lou Solverson (Patrick Wilson) and Ben Schmidt (Keir O'Donnell) catch up to Hanzee, but after a brief shootout, Hanzee gives them the slip. In the freezer, Ed tells Peggy that even if th...

"Get your ass to Mars! -Hauser Doug Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a seemingly average guy.  He works as a construction worker and has a beautiful wife, Lori (Sharon Stone).  But Doug has recurring dreams of being on Mars with a beautiful brunette woman and wants to go to the red planet, but Lori won't let him.  Quaid decides to go to a company called Rekall, which implants realistic memories inside one's mind.  Quaid pays for a special experience, where he will be a secret agent with a mission on Mars, but just before the implant begins, the employees of Rekall discover that Quaid was actually a secret agent on Mars, but had his memory erased.  Suddenly on the run, with hitmen trying to kill him and no one to trust, Quaid has to try and find a way to Mars to learn the secrets of his true identity, but is all of this real, or did the implant actually work?  Quaid has to figure out what is real before the damage he causes becomes too great to ...

Well, now that I've seen Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, this is as good a time as any to rank the entire series from best to worst.  Will Jurassic Park get knocked out of the top spot?  How does Fallen Kingdom stack up?  Let's find out! #1 Jurassic Park (1993) Ok, so this one was pretty obvious.  Nothing came close to beating the original film.  Jurassic Park is pretty damn close to being a perfect move.  It has easily the best characters and the best incarnations of both Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum).  Malcolm is a treat every time he is on screen and Grant has a fantastic character arc.  Lex (Ariana Richards) and Tim (Joseph Mazzello) are easily the best kids in the series and the rest of the cast is great also.  Everyone has a part to play and something to contribute to the story.  Almost every scene is iconic in some way.  It really is a masterpiece and one of my all-time favorite films....

"Welcome...to Jurassic World." -Dr. Ian Malcolm Several years after the events of Jurassic World, Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) is now a dinosaur rights activist who is fighting to rescue all of the remaining dinosaurs at Jurassic World from an impending volcano eruption.  When the government declines to get involved, Claire is contacted by Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell) and his right-hand man, Eli Mills (Rate Spall), who offer a solution of helping to move the dinosaurs to a new island and leaving them to live in peace.  They need Claire's handprint to activate the trackers in all the dinosaurs and Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) to track down the velociraptor, Blue.  Claire and Owen join the team to rescue the dinosaurs as the eruption draws near, but there is something shady going on behind the scenes and not everyone on the island or back on the mainland can be trusted. There are going to be spoilers ahead, but I'll just go ahead and tell yo...

"Just remember all the good the Purge does." -Mary Sandin In the not-so-distant future of America, the country has never been better.  Unemployment and crime are down and the economy is booming.  This is attributed to the annual Purge, where all crime, including murder, is legal for 12 hours, to allow the citizens to get all the anger and hatred out of their system.  Security system salesman, James Sandin (Ethan Hawke), plans to spend the night in his home, which has a very expensive security system installed, along with his wife, Mary (Lena Headey), his daughter, Zoey (Adelaide Kane), and his son, Charlie (Max Burkholder).  Charlie dislikes the Purge, and when he sees a stranger (Edwin Hodge) screaming for help outside, Charlie lets him in.  The Sandin's quickly realize the stranger is being hunted by a group of well-off Purgers, who threaten to break their way into the house, and will kill all of the Sandin's to get the stranger.  As the Sandin...

"I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me." -Chirrut Îmwe Set immediately before the events of A New Hope,  Jyn Erso is rescued from an Imperial labor camp by the Rebel Alliance and coerced into assisting the Rebels on a mission to track down a defecting Imperial pilot, Bodhi Rook (Riz Ahmed), who has information on the Empire's new super weapon, the Death Star, which was built by Jyn's father, Galen (Mads Mikkelsohn).  As she sees the evil the Empire is capable of up close, Jyn is inspired to join the Rebellion and forms a ragtag group called Rogue One to steal the Death Star's plans from an Imperial stronghold. What Works: The biggest compliment I can give Rogue One is about it's final battle on Scarif.  It's a very long sequence and it's very exciting.  If feels akin to something like Saving Private Ryan.   It's darker and grittier than anything we've seen before in the Star Wars  series.  Plus, these are all ...

"Never been tagged.  Just sayin'." -Jerry Pierce For 30 years, a group of childhood friends have been playing the same game of Tag for the entire month of May without fail, even though they live in separate states.  With only a few days left of May, Hoagie (Ed Helms) informs the others that Jerry (Jeremy Renner), the best player of the group and the only one who has never been tagged has decided to retire.  Hoagie discovers that Jeremy is getting married on May 31st and kept it secret to avoid being tagged.  The group travels to their hometown to try and defeat Jerry once and for all. What Works: First off, the chemistry between this group is great.  I believed that these guys were friends and really cared about each other, using the game to stay close when life tries to keep them apart.  They seem like a fun group of guys and they mdke me want to play tag with them. The tag sequences themselves are a lot of fun.  Jeremy Renn...