Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

"What is it you like about this house so much?" -M A man (Casey Affleck) and his wife (Rooney Mara) live in a house together.  After he is killed in a car accident, the man returns to his house as a ghost and can only watch as his wife mourns.  After she moves out, the man stays behind and haunts the house. What Works: This is one of the most profoundly sad and existential films I have ever seen.  I can't stop thinking about the movie and how it made me feel.  Some of those shots of the ghost sitting all alone just made me feel extremely lonely.  The film is very effective at conveying emotion without saying much. I love how simple the look of the ghost is.  It's literally a sheet with two eye-holes cut out.  We've seen this in a million cartoons.  I love that they went this direction with the costume design and it gives the film a memorable look. In the early parts of the film, we get some extremely long and drawn-out shots.  There is

"I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know." -Sweeney Todd 15 years ago, Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp) was falsely convicted of a crime by Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) and exiled from London.  Now Barker is back.  Going under the name of Sweeney Todd, he opens a barber shop and starts killing those who sit in his chair, so his partner, Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), can grind up the bodies into meat pies and sell them.  Business booms, but Todd is only interested in getting Judge Turpin to come in for a shave. What Works: This movie is truly a work of art and right up my alley.  I can't believe I waited so long to see it.  It's a wonderful combination of horror, music, and comedy.  What more could you ask for?  It's brilliant. The gore is brutal and really over-the-top.  I wasn't sure how many kills we would actually see in the film.  I figured a musical might show some restraint.  I was dead wrong.  The throat slits

"This show is not what I expected." -Harley Williams It's Harley Williams' (Finlay Wojtak-Hissong) birthday and his family is taking him to a live taping of his favorite show, The Banana Splits .  Unfortunately, the robotic characters have learned that their show is going to be canceled.  They are willing to do anything to keep the show going and will kill anyone who tries to stop them. What Works: This movie has an absolutely bonkers concept and I love that it was actually made.  Having a bunch of characters from an actual kids' show come to life and murder people is amazing and I love it. The Banana Splits themselves are all voiced by Eric Bauza and he does an excellent job.  The Splits have distinct personality and Bauza brings these robotic characters to life with some amazing voice work. The best character in the movie is Harley's friend, Zoe (Maria Nash).  Good kid actors are hard to find (see Harley's actor) and Nash do

"If I were a savage, I would have cut off his finger already.  That's tomorrow." -Ana Lucia Cortez The 7th episode of season 2 of Lost is one giant flashback focusing on the survivors of the tail section of Oceanic 815.  After crashing on the island, Ana Lucia Cortez (Michelle Rodriguez) becomes the leader of the tail section and makes Peace Corps member, Goodwin (Brett Cullen), her right-hand man, though she frequently clashes with another survivor, Nathan (Josh Randall).  On the first night after the crash, three survivors are kidnapped by the Others.  They try to kidnap Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) as well, but he kills two of the Others with a rock. On Day 12, the Others return and kidnap 9 more survivors.  Ana Lucia kills one of the Others and finds a list of the people they took on it.  The remaining seven; Ana Lucia, Goodwin, Nathan, Mr. Eko, Libby (Cynthia Watros), Bernard (Sam Anderson), and Cindy (Kimberly Joseph) all flee into the jungle

"Glory be to the Bomb and to the Holy Fallout." -Mendez Astronaut Brent (James Franciscus) crashes on the Planet of the Apes while trying to track down the astronauts from the previous movie.  Brent quickly discovers the truth about the planet as he searches for Taylor (Charlton Heston) and finds a strange society of mutated humans under the surface. What Works: Brent is a likable protagonist and James Franciscus does a good job.  He's easy enough to root for, if less complex than Taylor.  He's a solid vessel for the audience to view the film through. The mutant-human society is beyond bizarre and my favorite part of the movie.  The scene where Brent meets the psychic leaders of the humans is very odd, but a lot of fun.  I wasn't sure what I was expecting from this movie, but it wasn't this. It turns out these humans worship an atomic bomb and we are treated to an actual church service where we see the humans praying to the bomb

"There is power in the blood!" -Sir Lachlan Morrison Christian country singer, Beth Boothby (Brittania Nicol), and her boyfriend, Steve Thompson (Henry Garrett), travel to Scotland to spread of word of Jesus in a town of pagans.  They are greeted warmly, but are uncomfortable with some of the pagan rituals.  Little do they know, Beth and Steve have walked into a trap and have an important role to play in a ritual they want no part of. What Works: I've seen Graham McTavish in plenty of movies and he usually plays an angry meat-head of some kind, so it's nice to see him in a different type of role.  Here, he plays the wealthy and well-spoken leader of the pagan group, which was originally written for Christoper Lee.  I would have loved to see Lee in the role, but McTavish does a good job. Finally, there is one very enjoyable moment near the end of the film, where Sir Lochlan is giving his evil cult monologue.  Beth simply interrupts him by setting th

"She's my family now." -Billy Lenz As a winter storm rolls in on Christmas eve, the sisters of Delta Alpha Kappa find themselves snowed in with a killer who used to live in the sorority house.  As the girls fight to survive, they realize the killer isn't working alone. What Works: I have a big fear of eyeballs.  I can't stand when any eyeball trauma happens in movies and Black Christmas may have the most eyeball trauma in a single film I have ever seen.  It's insane, over-the-top, and gruesome.  I have a hard time watching the scenes, but I respect the movie for going so far into one of my biggest phobias. The only other thing I like about this movie is the lighting.  The filmmakers made good use of Christmas lights to give us some unique and colorful lighting.  It really makes the film feel more Christmas-y. What Sucks: The characters of Black Christmas suck.  The vast majority of them are super unlikable and impossible to r

"I can smell my friend being cooked." -Lars A group of social-activists fly to Peru to stop a company from destroying a section of the rain-forest home to an uncontacted tribe.  When their plane crashes, the survivors find themselves the captives of the very tribe they were trying to protect and, to their horror, discover the tribe are cannibalistic. What Works: I love  the premise for this movie.  A group of activists being killed by the very thing they were trying to save.  It's wonderfully ironic.  It reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of South Park , "Rainforest Schmainforest," and that's a major compliment. I really like movies like this and Midsommar where our main characters are at the mercy of a society who plans to inflict great harm upon them, but see no issue with it.  That's the most terrifying type of horror movie in my opinion.  A whole society out to get you and kill you brutally.  Chills. The gore is unr

"We're just going to walk, with insufficient oxygen, across the bottom of the ocean?" -Paul Abel A drilling station in the Mariana Trench is damaged by a large earthquake and most of the crew is killed.  The survivors have no choice but to walk across the ocean floor to a nearby station with escape pods.  Unfortunately, something else is out there with them. What Works: I like the claustrophobic feeling of this movie.  The tights spaces filled with water give me the chills far more than any underwater monsters.  I would love a whole movie about a group of people trying to survive in a damaged underwater structure and when Underwater goes that direction, it shines. I was nervous that T.J. Miller's comic relief character would be obnoxious, especially from the trailer, and while he does have elements of that, I was surprised to see that he was actually very competent.  His character always goes out and does his job, he just makes quips and compl

"Why in God's name did you have to choose me?" -Lance Corporal Will Schofield British soldiers Schofield (George MacKay) and Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman) are given a mission to cross no man's land to reach a group of soldiers that include Blake's brother.  They are due to attack the Germans the next morning, but have no idea that they are walking into a trap.  With the lives of 1,600 men on the line, Schofield and Blake have precious few hours to stop the massacre before it can begin. What Works: The most incredible aspect of this movie is that it's shot to be one long take.  They don't cut away.  Through some editing magic, it appears to be just one shot.  It's a technical marvel.  I can't emphasize enough how impressive this is.  The dedication and patience to get this right needs to be commended. George MacKay gives a really fantastic performance and watching him act made me feel exhausted.  I assumed Blake would be th

I just watched Rambo: Last Blood which came out earlier this year.  I had never seen any of these movies before, but watched them all over the last few months.  Now, I've decided to rank them.  We'll go from best to worst to make things interesting. #1. First Blood (1982) Of course First Blood is the best movie in the series.  How could it not be?  The first half of the film is one long chase sequence and is utterly thrilling.  The action sequences are all great, especially the one with all the booby traps.  Stallone gives his best performance of the series and we also get the best villain thanks to an excellent performance from Brian Dennehy.  The second half isn't quite as strong as the first half, but it's still a lot of fun.     9/10: Great  #2. Rambo: First Blood Part II  (1985 ) This is the Rambo I was expecting when I started this series.  The action is incredibly over-the-top and an absolute blast to watch.  This time the second half

"All the ones I've loved are now ghosts." -John Rambo Eleven years after the last film, John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) lives on his late father's ranch in  Arizona with his friend, Maria (Adriana Barraza), and her granddaughter, Gabriela (Yvette Monreal).  When Gabriela goes missing in Mexico, Rambo crosses the border to track her down and will kill anyone who gets in his way. I'll be spoiling this movie below, so I'll say this; it's an okay film.  Nothing special and not really necessary, but it's okay.  Don't spend any money on it.  Watch it on a streaming service. What Works: Sylvester Stallone is solid as always as Rambo.  He really gets this character and is very believable.  His arc this time around is definitely heartbreaking. The 3rd act is really fun.  We get to see Rambo taking on his attackers with booby traps.  This sequence is brutal, but an absolute blast.  The kills are graphic and incredibly over the to

"They're smart, and they're animals, and they could be anywhere at any time." -Ana Lucia Cortez The 6th episode of season 2 of Lost picks up with Sayid (Naveen Andrews) building a shelter for Shannon (Maggie Grace).  The two of them finally have sex, but later the romantic mood is interrupted when Shannon sees Walt (Malcolm David Kelley).  Nobody believes Shannon, so she goes off to find Walt with Sayid following her and trying to convince her to go back.  Shannon breaks down because nobody believes in her.  Sayid tells her he does and says he loves her.  They both spot Walt out in the jungle and chase after him. Ana Lucia's (Michelle Rodriguez) group makes their way across the island towards the camp of our main characters.  Sawyer (Josh Holloway) is dying from his bullet wound, so Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) leads the group through the jungle to save time.  Sawyer collapses, so they build a stretcher and carry him.  After climbing a hill, t

"I thought you were dead." -Almost every character in the movie In the far off future of 1997, Manhattan has been turned into a giant, maximum security prison.  When Air Force One crashes inside, leaving the President (Donald Pleasence) trapped, recently captured criminal and ex-Special Forces soldier, Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell), is sent into New York on an impossible mission to save him. What Works: The premise for this movie is simply fantastic.  The set up for this movie is really cool and exciting.  It's truly a brilliant idea and it's executed pretty well. Kurt Russell just oozes cool as Snake Plissken.  We never learn too much about him, but that's okay.  All we need to know is that this guy is badass.  Snake is an iconic character for a reason and that reason is Russell's performance. The best scene in the movie comes just after the crash of Air Force One.  A team is sent in to the crash site only to find the President

I was pleasantly surprised with how few bad movies there were in 2019.  Yes, I have enough to make a Bottom 10 list, but I don't have any dishonorable mentions.  And these 10 movies are mostly better than the crap from last year.  That said, the worst movie of the year is one of the worst I have even seen in theaters.  So, let's get to my list...the worst 10 films of 2019. #10. 47 Meters Down: Uncaged There were aspects of this movie that I liked.  The slo-mo shots were beautiful, there are some fun sequences, one really cool kill, and a fun, if stupid, 3rd act.  Unfortunately, the writing is absolute trash with really repetitive dialog, none of the characters are likable, and it's hard to tell what is happening at times due to the poor lighting.  If we can't see what is going on, why even make a movie? #9. Dark Phoenix  While not as bad as X-Men Origins: Wolverine , Dark Phoenix is still the second worst film in the X-Men series.  James McAvoy, Michae

Well, that's it for 2019 and once again I wasted way too much of my life watching movies.  I watched 64 newly released movies of varying quality this year and it's time for me to decide on which ones are going to make it into the Top 10.  It's a tough decision, but it has to be done. #10. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World I love the How to Train Your Dragon trilogy and while the 3rd film isn't as good as the second, it wraps the series up nicely.  The movie is a work of art with stunning animation, we get a solid villain, some off the most effective emotional moments of the series, and, of course, Toothless, who is simply a wonderful character.  Not all of the comedy works, but that doesn't prevent this film from making the Top 10. #9. The Lighthouse This movie is nothing short of bonkers.  Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe give brilliant performances as they take us on a journey of paranoia and isolation.  The lighting and cinematography