Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

 "I hope he transfers to hell." -Troy Barnes "Pascal's Triangle Revisited" picks up on the last day of the school year at Greendale.  Troy (Donald Glover) reveals that his dad is forcing him to move out of the house.  He hints that he'd like to move into Abed's (Danny Pudi) dorm room with him, but Abed ignores Troy's hints, which hurts Troy. The end of year Transfer Dance is also approaching and Britta (Gillian Jacobs) is stunned to learn she has been nominated for Queen.  She's not interested, but Professor Duncan (John Oliver) encourages her to compete to help herself get over some issues she has from her past.  As Britta leaves her final therapy sessions with Duncan, Chang (Ken Jeong) arrives to ask Duncan for help cheating his way through all of his classes.  Duncan refuses and simply laughs at Chang's misfortune. Professor Slater (Lauren Stamile) approaches Jeff (Joel McHale) and says she made a mistake breaking up with him and asks him ...

 "I look good in everything, Jeff." -Kyle Fraser This was one of the funnier Immunity Challenges in recent memory.  All of the smack talk was great, but then we got Shauhin getting edited into the music of the montage sequence and Jeff giving an impromptu plug to apply to the show.  It was all hilarious.  Plus Sai finally got voted out, which was a huge relief.  I was nervous she might end up being a Final 3 goat that we'd have to put up with all season.  In short, I really enjoyed this episode, so let's get into who played well and who sucked. Who Played Well: Mitch was in a really rough spot after the Charity vote, but he did a good job of regrouping.  I liked how he worked on his social connections with Sai, Shauhin, and Joe.  It's possible that the connection he made with Joe helped save him.  He managed to survive the vote and used his Vote Blocker in a smart way.  He may have taken the target off of his back a little bit going forw...

 "Did the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants poison each other's food so they were too sick to leave!?  No!  I've never seen it, but I'm pretty sure they mailed each other pants! -Jeff Winger "English as a Second Language" picks up with Greendale entering Finals Week.  As the group prepares to figure out their study schedule, Annie (Alison Brie) suggests the group all take Spanish 3 the following semester, but Jeff (Joel McHale) refuses as Spanish 2 fufills his language credit and he doesn't want to add any unnecessary classes.  The rest of the group wants to stay together as a study group until they learn Spanish 3 is five days a week at 6 in the morning.  Annie suggests the group could all take Anthropology instead, but Jeff won't commit and believes they will all stay friends if they have a class together or not. Señor Chang (Ken Jeong) kicks everyone but Jeff out of class and reveals to him that he also faked having a teaching degree and asks Jeff ...

 "You drink a lot of milk?" -David Kinne I'm just going to call this the merge.  Everyone was living on the same beach, one person won Immunity, everyone went to Tribal Council, and one person was voted out.  This was a merge.  We don't need to do this silly thing with earning the merge buff.  This is a merge with extra steps.  Apart from that nonsense, this was a fun episode of Survivor as we raced to the bottom with voting out either Charity or Sai.  I enjoyed watching the other castaways just dunk on these two as they decided who to vote out.  Let's get into who played well and who sucked. Who Played Well: We got a new alliance this week, which doesn't have a name yet, so I'll call it the Honesty Alliance for now.  It's a good fit for Joe, Eva, Shauhin, David, and Kyle.  They could do really well in this game, but I think this helps Kyle the most.  He seems to be the most strategic of the bunch and he and Kamilla are playing it s...

 "And here's hoping we kill Bigfoot on the way back." -Shepard Leopold Elliot Kintner (Paul Rudd) has to travel to the remote estate of his boss, Odell Leopold (Richard E. Grant), for the weekend and brings his daughter, Ridley (Jenna Ortega), along.  On the way, Elliot accidentally hits a unicorn and brings the body with to the Leopold estate.  When they discover that the unicorn's blood and horn have healing properties, the Leopold family decides to exploit the corpse of the unicorn for profit.  However, the unicorn's parents soon arrive...and they are not happy. What Works: This movie has such an awesome concept.  A creature feature with a unicorn as the murderous monster.  Ever since I watched The Cabin in the Woods , I thought a killer unicorn would make for a fun movie and I was really excited that it was actually happening, especially with such a talented cast.  And when the unicorns are graphically killing people, the movie shines.  We get...

 "That was an abysmal failure." -Jeff Probst Sigh.  This episode was so close to being perfect.  Everything involving Joe and Eva was just so sweet.  I definitely wasn't crying right alongside Jeff.  If only Sai had been voted out instead.  Then this would have been such an elite episode of Survivor .  Alas.  This was still a great episode with very interesting gameplay.  Let's figure out who played well and who sucked. Who Played Well: We'll start over on Civa with Cedrek.  I'm really impressed that he managed to pull off the move against Bianca with such little time.  He learned that Bianca didn't have a vote minutes before Tribal Council and managed to convince Chrissy to join him in voting her out in that tiny window.  He saved Sai and got Chrissy to make a questionable move for her game.  Nice work! Moving over to Lagi, Eva obviously had the huge emotional moment that showed how close she is to Joe, but I think that m...

 "Let's not fuck it up this time." -Riya Riya (Eiza González) wakes up in a space station on a remote alien planet with no memory of who she is or how she got there.  To make things more sinister, she quickly discovers the bloody bodies of the rest of her crew.  Soon after, a man (Aaron Paul) arrives at the station and Riya has to figure out if she can trust him, what happened, and how to make it home. What Works: Not since Mandy  have I seen a movie with such cool visuals.  The atmosphere of the planet and the use of unusual lighting really give this movie a distinct mood and vibe.  I actually stopped watching the trailer 40 seconds in because I was so sold on the visuals.  Some of the visuals are nightmarish, while others make me want to go exploring alien planets.  The film's director, Flying Lotus, really gives this movie a distinct feel and I love it. Flying Lotus also did the music for the movie and it enhances the vibe of the movie even mor...

 "No, not the fingernails!" -Nathan Caine Nathan Caine (Jack Quaid), the assistant manager at a credit union, has an amazing date with his co-worker, Sherry (Amber Midthunder).  The next day, the credit union is robbed and Sherry is taken as a hostage.  Nathan decides to rescue her himself and embarks on a violent, rescue mission.  Nathan has one advantage over the hardened criminals; he can't feel any pain. There will be spoilers below.  My non-spoiler review is that this movie is a lot of fun, but has some structure issues and I don't love the 3rd act, but this is still worth seeing. What Works: I love Jack Quaid.  He's just so charismatic, even when he's playing a villain.  In Novocaine , he gets to play the most likable role I've ever seen him in.  Nathan is super relatable and easy to root and throwing in Quaid's chemistry with Midthunder, this is a movie that's very easy to get invested in. The premise of this movie is fantastic and used ver...

 "Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes." -Abed Nadir "Modern Warfare" picks up with the study group getting fed up with Jeff (Joel McHale) and Britta's (Gillian Jacobs) constant bickering.  Abed (Danny Pudi) explains that their sexual tension is driving the rest of the groups nuts, while Pierce (Chevy Chase) suggests they sleep together, get it over with, and move on.  The Dean (Jim Rash) interrupts by announcing a game of Paintball Assassin will be happening later with a yet to be determine prize.  When the group tries to turn the conversation back to Jeff and Britta, Jeff leaves to go take a nap in his car. Jeff wakes up from his nap to find the campus deserted and nearly apocalyptic with paint everywhere.  He discovers Garrett (Erik Charles Nielsen) also covered in paint, who explains that when the Dean announced the prize the game quickly got out of hand with everyone turning on each.  Leonard (Richard Erdman) appears and tries...

 "I hate water." -David Kinne Ugh.  Once Lagi lost the Immunity Challenge, I knew this episode was going to be a bummer.  I really liked everyone on the tribe, but someone had to go and, of course, it had to be my winner pick.  That said, this was a fun episode.  There was some excellent gameplay and I really enjoyed the dynamics on all of the new tribes.  So let's get into who played well and who sucked. Who Played Well: We'll start on the new Civa tribe.  Cedrek, Mitch, and Chrissy all came together and could take complete control of the tribe if they want to.  Obviously the conversation between Cedrek and Mitch about their speech impediments was a great moment and I could see it creating an unbreakable bond between them.  And while Chrissy and Mitch should have formed a strategic relationship of some kind long before this episode, at least neither of them ever burned a bridge with the other.  They may not be close, but they can still ...

 "A skull is a very scary thing to see in this game." -Kamilla Karthigesu Wow, that was certainly an episode of Survivor!   Two major notes here.  First off, I hate that the players who were sent on the Journey in this episode were forced to play the game.  I really wish they had been given the opportunity to back out, especially since it was just a game of chance.  Secondly, I think Cedrek's flip at Tribal Council is one of the worst moves we've ever seen in the premerge.  I'd love to hear some other potential contenders for worst premerge move of all time.  Let's get into who played well and who sucked. Who Played Well: We'll start over on the Civa tribe.  Kamilla took the hero spot in the Immunity Challenge and won it for her tribe, so good for her.  If you're going to take the hero spot, you'd better deliver, and she did.  She also managed to get an Extra Vote, but that was 100% luck. I really liked the conversation between Kyle and ...

 "Even on my seventeenth go-around, I hate dying." -Mickey 17 Desperate to get off of Earth to avoid a murderous loan shark, Mickey Barnes (Robert Pattinson) agrees to become an Expendable on a mission to colonize the planet Niflheim.  An Expendable's job is to do dangerous and deadly tasks and if they die, a clone with most of the same memories and personality can simply be printed off and put back to work.   What Works: Robert Pattinson is the highlight of the film and plays multiple versions of Mickey.  Yes, he's playing the same person each time, but some of the Mickey's have different quirks in their personality.  The two main Mickey's, 17 and 18, are actually very different from each other and Pattinson brings both of them to life very distinctly.  I love the way they interact with each other and the different ways they deal with their problems.  Mickey 18 may be aggressive and violent, but goddamn is he relatable. Mickey 17 and 18 are very ...

 "Well, excuse me for trying to sneak you into heaven!" -Shirley Bennett "The Art of Discourse" picks up with Jeff (Joel McHale) celebrating getting a B in Nutrition while Britta (Gillian Jacobs) knits an eye-patch for her newly adopted cat.  A group of high-schoolers, who are getting some college credits, start insulting Jeff and Britta's life choices, calling them "Shmitty," and repeating every retort that Jeff and Britta respond with, but adding "duh" at the end.  Both Jeff and Britta are affected by the teens and Jeff ends up lashing out at Pierce (Chevy Chase) for playing guitar. Abed (Danny Pudi) smashes Pierce's guitar and reveals he is trying check some things off his list for having the quintessential college experience.  Troy (Donald Glover) offers to help Abed and Troy pantses him in response.  Troy responds by pantsing Abed, who reveals both events were on his list.  Pierce wants to get in on the fun and pantses Shirley (Yvett...