Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

 "Well, that answers my question.  Jeff Winger is sexy even in a coffin." -Dean Pelton "Celebrity Pharmacology" picks up with Annie (Alison Brie) getting the rest of the study group to be in her play about drug awareness.  They agree to be in the play and start rehearsing, but none are overly enthused about being in the show.  Pierce (Chevy Chase) is especially upset because he doesn't have any lines, but is playing Drugs. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) complains to Jeff (Joel McHale) about a guy she is seeing who texts her too much and she doesn't like flirting over text.  Later, when Britta isn't in the room, her phone gets a message from someone named Marcus (Justin Marco).  Jeff decides to help Britta out by flirting with Marcus for her, but Abed (Danny Pudi) tells him that it's a bad idea. Pierce tries to get Annie to give him more lines in the play, but she brushes him off.  Later, he notices her collecting cans from garbage cans around campus.  He...

 "Whiskey for the pain." -Millie When Millie (Alison Brie) gets a job teaching in a small town, she and her boyfriend, Tim (Dave Franco), move away from the big city, even though Tim is very reluctant to do so.  As the two grapple with their new home and their relationship is tested, the pair go for a fateful hike in the woods and discover something that will forever change them. What Works: I think Together is a film that would have worked with pretty much any two actors in the lead roles, as long as they had chemistry with one another, but Alison Brie and Dave Franco bring this to another level because the actors are married in real life.  They add a level of authenticity and intimacy to these characters and their relationship.  They elevate this movie to a degree I can't overstate, which makes it so much easier for them to bring you along on this disgusting journey. This is a body horror movie, a genre I love because if you're going to make a body horror movie, th...

 "I agree with brown Jamie Lee Curtis." -Jeff Winger "Asian Population Studies" picks up with the start of spring semester and the group returning to Greendale.  Annie (Alison Brie) alludes to making a connection with a guy while volunteering on a river clean up team, but doesn't want to talk about who he is.  Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) reveals she has gotten back together with her ex-husband, Andre (Malcolm-Jamal Warner), but nobody else wants to talk about it.  Chang (Ken Jeong) reveals he has been there the entire time hiding on top of a bookcase.  He demands entry into the study group, which Jeff (Joel McHale) denies, so Chang asks them to sleep on it. In Anthropology class, Troy (Donald Glover) accidentally lets it slip to Pierce (Chevy Chase) that Shirley and Chang slept together on Halloween.  Troy swears Pierce to secrecy.  Professor Duncan (John Oliver) arrives and reveals he is now sober and intends to make Anthropology an actual class thi...

 "Nostalgia is overrated." -Julie James A group of friends accidentally cause a death on the cliffside roads of Southport, North Carolina and agree to keep their involvement secret.  One year later, the friends all return home to encounter a murderous fisherman who knows their secret.  They decide to reach out to the survivors of the 1997 massacre; Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Ray Bronson (Freddie Prinze Jr.), to solve the mystery and stay off of the fisherman's hook. Spoilers below.  This movie sucks and is actually the worst in the series.  I can't explain why without going into details.  Avoid this movie at all costs. What Works: This legacy sequel has one and only one redeeming quality and that is the talent of the legacy actors.  Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. are both talented actors.  They are both given some bad dialogue, but they do their best to make it work and succeed in some cases.  Plus we get a cameo from...

 "The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning.  And it can mean whatever we want." -Abed Nadir "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" picks up with the study group discussing their plans for Christmas.  Abed (Danny Pudi) reveals that while he is Muslim, he's always enjoyed Christmas and knows that this year's Christmas must be very special because everything is stop motion animated.  This alarms the rest of the group.  Abed suggests they all commit to the format and he breaks out in a Christmas song while jumping across cars in the parking lot, which results in him getting tazed by security. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) and Jeff (Joel McHale) take Abed to Professor Duncan (John Oliver), who plots to use Abed's psychological break for his own gain.  Abed refuses therapy, even if it means getting kicked out of Greendale. Later, Britta texts Abed to go to the study room to find the meaning of Christmas, which Abed believes will allow everythin...

 "Survival is a long shot." -Dr. Henry Loomis Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), an executive at a pharmaceutical company, assembles a team to retrieve DNA samples from three dinosaurs on a remote island to create a treatment to eliminate heart disease.  Unfortunately, the team needs to collect samples from three of the biggest dinosaurs ever, and the island also contains mutated dinosaurs from genetic experiments gone wrong.   Spoiler alert below! What Works: As opposed to the last two movies in the series, Rebirth gets a very important element right.  The dino sequences are a lot of fun.  Most of the dinosaur stuff in Fallen Kingdom and Dominion was boring and stupid, and don't get me wrong, there was some stupid stuff in this movie, but the action still managed to be fun and even exciting at times. My favorite sequence is the Mosasaurus hunt.  It reminded me a lot of Jaws , which I'm guessing was the idea.  When the Mosasaurus flips a sailboat, it's...

 "I broke my legs, not my gender." -Pierce Hawthorne "Mixology Certification" picks up with the group celebrating Troy's (Donald Glover) 20th birthday in the study room.  During some birthday trivia from Annie (Alison Brie), Troy reveals that he was born in 1989, not 1990.  He had to repeat 5th grade and his mom tried to make him feel better about it by telling him everyone is 10 for two years.  The group realizes he is actually turning 21, so Jeff (Joel McHale) insists they go out to a bar so Troy can have his first legal drink.  Jeff wants to go to L Street, which Britta (Gillian Jacobs) hates, so she suggests The Red Door.  Jeff hates that bar, so they settle on one that appeals to everyone, Flanahan's Hole.  Annie, who is underage, is sad about not being able to go, but Britta gets her an ID that belonged to a woman named Caroline Decker from Corpus Cristi, Texas. Jeff drives Troy and Abed (Danny Pudi), but they discover Flanahan's Hole has closed,...

No funny quote this time.  Just a rant.  This movie is mostly just dumb fun.  I was mostly fine with the genre switching.  I was along for the ride.  But the movie's message is that we should be kinder to AI and maybe they'll be kind back and not destroy us.  In theory, I agree, but I have enough experience to know that humanity, even if it's just some, will never be kind to AI and will always do the worst possible thing. Even the villains, who claimed to be anti-AI, were trying to control it and use it for their ends.   And then we have Megan's character arc.  She gets redemption in this movie.  Wonderful, but the lesson here seems to be that we should give AI powered killer robots a second chance.  I am not okay with that message. Most movies that have AI involved recognized the risks that come with it and I think the writers of this movie are very naive.  In the end, it's a dumb, but kinda fun movie.  And maybe I'm letting m...

 "Hi, Dad!  I'm a bargaining chip!" -Glordon Elio Solís (Yonas Kibreab) wants nothing more than to be abducted by aliens and explore the cosmos.  One night, his wish comes true and Elio is taken to space.  However, it isn't as fun as he imagined when he has to negotiate between two groups of aliens to prevent war from breaking out. What Works: To start with, this is a Pixar movie, so it's beautifully animated.  That should go without saying as that's what we've come to expect from Pixar, but just because it's expected doesn't mean it shouldn't be praised. Yonas Kibreab does a great job as Elio.  Elio is an unusual protagonist in this sort of movie as he's pretty unlikable at first, but he learns and grows over the course of the story.  Throughout it all, Kibreab does a great job at giving Elio a lot of emotion. My favorite character of the movie is Glordon, who is played perfectly by Remy Edgerly.  He's the son of the warlord leader of ...

 "I have always dreamt of playing Charades with you, Jeffrey.  Just not like this.  And not on dry land." -Dean Pelton "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design" picks up in study group.  After Annie (Alison Brie) shows the group her new diorama, Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) leave to go build a blanket fort in Abed's dorm room.  Britta (Gillian Jacobs) makes fun of them for wanting to hang out in a blanket fort before they leave. The Dean (Jim Rash) arrives to inform Jeff (Joel McHale) that he won't be receiving credit for his independent study class, Conspiracy Theories in US History, because it isn't a real class.  Jeff claims it is real and has a meeting with Professor Professorson every week.  Jeff takes the Dean and Annie to Professor Professorson's office, but only finds a storage closet.  Jeff claims this is some sort of test from his professor, but the Dean and Annie don't believe him.  A man claiming to be Professor Prof...

 "Tell your disappointment to suck it!  I'm doing a bottle episode!" -Jeff Winger "Cooperative Calligraphy" picks up with the study group finishing up a diorama for anthropology class.  The Dean (Jim Rash) announces that a Puppy Parade is happening outside and most of the group decides to go, except for Jeff (Joel McHale), who has a hot date.  Just before they can all leave the study room, Annie (Alison Brie) asks them all who took her pen and explains that she has had 8 pens taken from her recently and has had enough.  The group promises to be more respectful of her property and tires to leave again, but Annie starts screaming. The group reluctantly searches the study room for the pen, but can't find it.  Annie points out trust is at stake and that no one has entered or left the room, so somebody has to have it.  The group looks at Britta (Gillian Jacobs), who has a habit of "borrowing" pens from everyone.  The group convinces her to empty her ba...