Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

 "The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning.  And it can mean whatever we want." -Abed Nadir "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" picks up with the study group discussing their plans for Christmas.  Abed (Danny Pudi) reveals that while he is Muslim, he's always enjoyed Christmas and knows that this year's Christmas must be very special because everything is stop motion animated.  This alarms the rest of the group.  Abed suggests they all commit to the format and he breaks out in a Christmas song while jumping across cars in the parking lot, which results in him getting tazed by security. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) and Jeff (Joel McHale) take Abed to Professor Duncan (John Oliver), who plots to use Abed's psychological break for his own gain.  Abed refuses therapy, even if it means getting kicked out of Greendale. Later, Britta texts Abed to go to the study room to find the meaning of Christmas, which Abed believes will allow everythin...

 "Survival is a long shot." -Dr. Henry Loomis Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), an executive at a pharmaceutical company, assembles a team to retrieve DNA samples from three dinosaurs on a remote island to create a treatment to eliminate heart disease.  Unfortunately, the team needs to collect samples from three of the biggest dinosaurs ever, and the island also contains mutated dinosaurs from genetic experiments gone wrong.   Spoiler alert below! What Works: As opposed to the last two movies in the series, Rebirth gets a very important element right.  The dino sequences are a lot of fun.  Most of the dinosaur stuff in Fallen Kingdom and Dominion was boring and stupid, and don't get me wrong, there was some stupid stuff in this movie, but the action still managed to be fun and even exciting at times. My favorite sequence is the Mosasaurus hunt.  It reminded me a lot of Jaws , which I'm guessing was the idea.  When the Mosasaurus flips a sailboat, it's...

 "I broke my legs, not my gender." -Pierce Hawthorne "Mixology Certification" picks up with the group celebrating Troy's (Donald Glover) 20th birthday in the study room.  During some birthday trivia from Annie (Alison Brie), Troy reveals that he was born in 1989, not 1990.  He had to repeat 5th grade and his mom tried to make him feel better about it by telling him everyone is 10 for two years.  The group realizes he is actually turning 21, so Jeff (Joel McHale) insists they go out to a bar so Troy can have his first legal drink.  Jeff wants to go to L Street, which Britta (Gillian Jacobs) hates, so she suggests The Red Door.  Jeff hates that bar, so they settle on one that appeals to everyone, Flanahan's Hole.  Annie, who is underage, is sad about not being able to go, but Britta gets her an ID that belonged to a woman named Caroline Decker from Corpus Cristi, Texas. Jeff drives Troy and Abed (Danny Pudi), but they discover Flanahan's Hole has closed,...

No funny quote this time.  Just a rant.  This movie is mostly just dumb fun.  I was mostly fine with the genre switching.  I was along for the ride.  But the movie's message is that we should be kinder to AI and maybe they'll be kind back and not destroy us.  In theory, I agree, but I have enough experience to know that humanity, even if it's just some, will never be kind to AI and will always do the worst possible thing. Even the villains, who claimed to be anti-AI, were trying to control it and use it for their ends.   And then we have Megan's character arc.  She gets redemption in this movie.  Wonderful, but the lesson here seems to be that we should give AI powered killer robots a second chance.  I am not okay with that message. Most movies that have AI involved recognized the risks that come with it and I think the writers of this movie are very naive.  In the end, it's a dumb, but kinda fun movie.  And maybe I'm letting m...

 "Hi, Dad!  I'm a bargaining chip!" -Glordon Elio Solís (Yonas Kibreab) wants nothing more than to be abducted by aliens and explore the cosmos.  One night, his wish comes true and Elio is taken to space.  However, it isn't as fun as he imagined when he has to negotiate between two groups of aliens to prevent war from breaking out. What Works: To start with, this is a Pixar movie, so it's beautifully animated.  That should go without saying as that's what we've come to expect from Pixar, but just because it's expected doesn't mean it shouldn't be praised. Yonas Kibreab does a great job as Elio.  Elio is an unusual protagonist in this sort of movie as he's pretty unlikable at first, but he learns and grows over the course of the story.  Throughout it all, Kibreab does a great job at giving Elio a lot of emotion. My favorite character of the movie is Glordon, who is played perfectly by Remy Edgerly.  He's the son of the warlord leader of ...

 "I have always dreamt of playing Charades with you, Jeffrey.  Just not like this.  And not on dry land." -Dean Pelton "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design" picks up in study group.  After Annie (Alison Brie) shows the group her new diorama, Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) leave to go build a blanket fort in Abed's dorm room.  Britta (Gillian Jacobs) makes fun of them for wanting to hang out in a blanket fort before they leave. The Dean (Jim Rash) arrives to inform Jeff (Joel McHale) that he won't be receiving credit for his independent study class, Conspiracy Theories in US History, because it isn't a real class.  Jeff claims it is real and has a meeting with Professor Professorson every week.  Jeff takes the Dean and Annie to Professor Professorson's office, but only finds a storage closet.  Jeff claims this is some sort of test from his professor, but the Dean and Annie don't believe him.  A man claiming to be Professor Prof...

 "Tell your disappointment to suck it!  I'm doing a bottle episode!" -Jeff Winger "Cooperative Calligraphy" picks up with the study group finishing up a diorama for anthropology class.  The Dean (Jim Rash) announces that a Puppy Parade is happening outside and most of the group decides to go, except for Jeff (Joel McHale), who has a hot date.  Just before they can all leave the study room, Annie (Alison Brie) asks them all who took her pen and explains that she has had 8 pens taken from her recently and has had enough.  The group promises to be more respectful of her property and tires to leave again, but Annie starts screaming. The group reluctantly searches the study room for the pen, but can't find it.  Annie points out trust is at stake and that no one has entered or left the room, so somebody has to have it.  The group looks at Britta (Gillian Jacobs), who has a habit of "borrowing" pens from everyone.  The group convinces her to empty her ba...

 "It's going to be a maze." -Joshua "Aerodynamics of Gender" picks up with a basketball game between Troy (Donald Glover) and Jeff (Joel McHale).  After losing the game, Jeff kicks the ball into a garden and Troy has to go and get it.  He discovers a secret trampoline.  Jeff catches up with him and they meet the gardener, Joshua (Matt Walsh), who allows them to use the trampoline to reach a state of bliss and relaxation.  He asks them to keep the trampoline a secret because of its potential to be a serious lawsuit.  He also tells them to only use the trampoline one at a time. Meanwhile, Annie (Alison Brie), Britta (Gillian Jacobs), and Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) sign up for a Women's Studies class as a way to take a break from the guys, but when Abed (Danny Pudi) finds out, he signs up as well.  The girls try to sit away from Abed, but a group of mean girls, led by Meghan (Hilary Duff), force them to move out of their seats after insulting them....

 "Our lives are not defined by any one action.  Our lives are the sum of our choices." -Luther Stickell With the world on the brink of nuclear war, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team are the only people who can find a way to stop the Entity, a rogue AI system, from destroying everything and prevent everyone else from trying to control it. Spoilers below!  In short, this is a weaker entry in the Mission: Impossible franchise due to it's ridiculous length and dull first half, but it picks up in the second half with some incredible action. What Works: The best performance of the movie comes from Ving Rhames, who plays Ethan's best friend Luther and is the only actor besides Cruise to appear in every entry.  Luther doesn't have a ton of screentime because he is killed off pretty early, but his performance is very emotional, especially the message he leaves behind for Ethan.  It's a really nice way to end the movie and seemingly the franchise. The bi-plane sequen...

 "Hi, Kevin can't come to the phone.  He's on a spaceship with me, George Takei.  Please leave a message." -George Takei "Epidemiology" picks up at Greendale's Halloween party in the library.  Dean Pelton (Jim Rash) provides food in the form of taco meat that he got from a military surplus store, which causes Pierce (Chevy Chase) and others to get sick.  Annie (Alison Brie) gets help from Dr. Rich (Greg Cromer) to treat the sick partiers. Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) attend the party as Ripley and a Xenomorph from Aliens  respectively.  Troy "saves" some babes from Abed's Xenomorph and tries to ask them out, but they are very unimpressed, which makes Troy self-conscious about becoming a nerd instead of being a jock.  He decides to change costumes and dresses as a "Sexy Dracula" and calls Abed a nerd. Rich thinks the illness is food poisoning until Pierce bites Star-Burns (Dino Stamatopoulos), who starts showing the s...

 "I always thought that Jesus just walked on water and told people not to have abortions, but it's so much cooler than that." -Abed Nadir "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples" picks up in Anthropology class with Professor Duncan (John Oliver) and the rest of the class just watching funny, YouTube videos instead of actually looking into anthropology.  Pierce (Chevy Chase) doesn't understand any of it and Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) is offended by some of the videos and gets sad when she realizes people are far more interested in these videos than Christianity.  She decides she wants to make a Christian movie to appeal to the youths and asks Abed (Danny Pudi) to help.  He refuses at first, but after reading the New Testament, he agrees and pitches his idea to Shirley.  His pitch is complicated, meta, and compares filmmakers to Jesus and God.  Even the title is ABED .  Shirley doesn't like it and decides to rescind her offer to Abed, which just makes hi...