Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

 "Nostalgia is overrated." -Julie James A group of friends accidentally cause a death on the cliffside roads of Southport, North Carolina and agree to keep their involvement secret.  One year later, the friends all return home to encounter a murderous fisherman who knows their secret.  They decide to reach out to the survivors of the 1997 massacre; Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Ray Bronson (Freddie Prinze Jr.), to solve the mystery and stay off of the fisherman's hook. Spoilers below.  This movie sucks and is actually the worst in the series.  I can't explain why without going into details.  Avoid this movie at all costs. What Works: This legacy sequel has one and only one redeeming quality and that is the talent of the legacy actors.  Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. are both talented actors.  They are both given some bad dialogue, but they do their best to make it work and succeed in some cases.  Plus we get a cameo from...

 "The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning.  And it can mean whatever we want." -Abed Nadir "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" picks up with the study group discussing their plans for Christmas.  Abed (Danny Pudi) reveals that while he is Muslim, he's always enjoyed Christmas and knows that this year's Christmas must be very special because everything is stop motion animated.  This alarms the rest of the group.  Abed suggests they all commit to the format and he breaks out in a Christmas song while jumping across cars in the parking lot, which results in him getting tazed by security. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) and Jeff (Joel McHale) take Abed to Professor Duncan (John Oliver), who plots to use Abed's psychological break for his own gain.  Abed refuses therapy, even if it means getting kicked out of Greendale. Later, Britta texts Abed to go to the study room to find the meaning of Christmas, which Abed believes will allow everythin...

 "Survival is a long shot." -Dr. Henry Loomis Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), an executive at a pharmaceutical company, assembles a team to retrieve DNA samples from three dinosaurs on a remote island to create a treatment to eliminate heart disease.  Unfortunately, the team needs to collect samples from three of the biggest dinosaurs ever, and the island also contains mutated dinosaurs from genetic experiments gone wrong.   Spoiler alert below! What Works: As opposed to the last two movies in the series, Rebirth gets a very important element right.  The dino sequences are a lot of fun.  Most of the dinosaur stuff in Fallen Kingdom and Dominion was boring and stupid, and don't get me wrong, there was some stupid stuff in this movie, but the action still managed to be fun and even exciting at times. My favorite sequence is the Mosasaurus hunt.  It reminded me a lot of Jaws , which I'm guessing was the idea.  When the Mosasaurus flips a sailboat, it's...

 "I broke my legs, not my gender." -Pierce Hawthorne "Mixology Certification" picks up with the group celebrating Troy's (Donald Glover) 20th birthday in the study room.  During some birthday trivia from Annie (Alison Brie), Troy reveals that he was born in 1989, not 1990.  He had to repeat 5th grade and his mom tried to make him feel better about it by telling him everyone is 10 for two years.  The group realizes he is actually turning 21, so Jeff (Joel McHale) insists they go out to a bar so Troy can have his first legal drink.  Jeff wants to go to L Street, which Britta (Gillian Jacobs) hates, so she suggests The Red Door.  Jeff hates that bar, so they settle on one that appeals to everyone, Flanahan's Hole.  Annie, who is underage, is sad about not being able to go, but Britta gets her an ID that belonged to a woman named Caroline Decker from Corpus Cristi, Texas. Jeff drives Troy and Abed (Danny Pudi), but they discover Flanahan's Hole has closed,...