Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

"Not apprehend.  Dead.  Don't care extramarital.  Don't care not related.  Kill and be killed.  Head in a bag.  That's the message." - Moses Tripoli Episode 6 of Fargo  finds Lorne Malvo (Billy Bob Thornton) and Don Chumph (Glenn Howerton) setting a meeting to get the million dollars from Stavros Millos (Oliver Platt).  Malvo has no intention of splitting the money with Don, so he knocks him out and ties him to a work out machine and duct tapes a shotgun to his hands.  Malvo than fires several bullets out the window to keep the police preoccupied while he gets the money.  The Duluth Police Department raids the house and kills poor Don, who can do nothing to escape his fate. On his way to the meeting, Malvo gets into a car crash caused by Wrench (Russell Harvard) and Numbers (Adam Goldberg), which starts a shootout in the middle of a blizzard.  Deputy Solverson (Allison Tolman) and Officer Grimly (Colin Hanks) are up...

I'm not really sure what happened, but I think I liked it. One year after her husband's disappearance on a military operation, Lena's (Natalie Portman) husband, Kane (Oscar Issac) returns home.  Kane has virtually no memories and is confused and dying of a strange illness.  Lena and Kane are both captured by the government and brought to a secret government instillation.  Lena is informed that three years earlier a lighthouse was hit by a meteor, and was surrounded by a mysterious anomaly called "the shimmer", which is expanding and will eventually consume the entire planet.  Many teams have entered "the shimmer", but no one has ever returned...until Kane.  Lena decides to join the new team, consisting solely of female scientists, to try and discover the secret behind "the shimmer", and maybe come back alive. What Works: Annihilation is one of the strangest movies I've ever seen, and that is part of the reason I like it...

It beats playing Risk. (Seriously, Risk sucks). Hyper competitive Max (Jason Bateman) and his equally competitive wife, Annie (Rachel McAdams) love having game night with their friends.  When Max's more successful brother, Brooks (Kyle Chandler) comes to town, he invites the whole group over for a murder mystery night in which Brooks gets kidnapped.  But the lines between the game and reality are quickly blurred as the murder mystery game comes closer and closer to becoming an actual murder mystery. What Works: Game Night is a hysterical movie.  The cast is firing on all cylinders and there are some really great and well written jokes.  But the highlight of the cast is Jesse Plemons who plays Max and Annie's socially awkward neighbor, who loves game night, but nobody else wants him to come.  Plemons gives a fantastic performance and he steals the show every time he is on screen. Most studio comedies like Game Night  don't do to...

When I said I'll give you my heart, I didn't mean literally... In a small, Canadian, mining town, during the Valentine's Day dance, an explosion traps five miners underground.  When the rescue party finally reaches them, only one is still alive, Harry Warden (Peter Cowper), who went insane and ate his fellow miners.  A year later, Harry returned to town and murdered two of the mine's supervisors.  Now, 20 years later, it's Valentine's Day again, and the bodies are starting to pile up.  Is Harry Warden back on the hunt, or is someone else copycatting Warden for their own nefarious reasons? What Works: For a slasher film, My Bloody Valentine  has a really cool setting.  Instead of your typical teenagers staying in a cabin in the woods, this film follows a group of young adults who for for the small town's mine.  And a good chunk of the movie takes place in the mine itself.  This presents the opportunity for some really different...

A new Netflix horror movie that combines elements from the first season of Lost and The Blair Witch Project .  So, is this going to be like Open House, The Babysitter,  or something new entirely?   After the death of a close friend, four buddies decide to honor is memory by going backpacking in rural Sweden.  When one of them is injured, they decide to take a shortcut through the forest to get back to civilization.  They soon discover there is something evil in these woods, something that won't let them leave. What Works: The Ritual  doesn't rely on cheep jump-scares or loud blaring music to scare you.  It focus on building tension and dread.  The guys know something horrible is happening and it keeps getting worse and worse, brilliantly building the tension.  The setting is also perfect for a scary movie, deep in an old forest.  It's perfect. The film borrows a lot of elements form the first season of Lost .  It remin...

"If you puke in here, I'll kill you.  I mean I'll actually kill you." -Grady Numbers The fifth episode up Fargo  picks up with Lester (Martin Freeman), Wrench (Russell Harvard), and Numbers (Adam Goldberg) all in jail.  The hitmen coerce Lester into giving up the name of Sam Hess' killer.  Wrench and Numbers are bailed out and are soon hot on the trail of Lorne Malvo (Billy Bob Thornton). Deputy Molly Solverson (Allison Tolmam) finally convinces the useless Police Chief (Bob Odenkirk) that Lester and Malvo were working together in the death's of Hess, Pearl Nygaard, and Vern Thurman.  The Chief allows Molly to interrogate Lester, but discovers Lester has gone into sepsis and is unconscious.  They take him to the hospital and on the way, Lester inadvertently drops vague hints that lets Molly know she is on the right trail. Back in Duluth, Officer Gus Grimly (Colin Hanks) has a late night talk with his neighbor (Byron Noble) that convinces ...

Holy crap.  We're on the 18th Marvel film already?   A week after the death of his father and the events of Captain America: Civil War , T'Challa (Chadwick Boseman) is crowed the new King of Wakanda.  Soon after, he gets a lead on the location of Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis), an arms dealer who stole some of the valuable vibranium from Wakanda, and murdered many people in the process.  This leads T'Challa and his allies on a collision course with Erik Stevens (Michael B. Jordan), a very dangerous man who plans on taking the throne of Wakanda for himself. What Works: Apart from Loki himself, Black Panther has the best villain the Marvel Cinematic Universe has seen. Michael B. Jordan gives an excellent performance as *Spoilers... ...Killmonger.  The name may not be the best, but man this guy is a great villain.  He has great motivation, you can empathize with him, and understand where he is coming form, and he poses a legitimate that...

I'm a huge fan of the late, great Bill Paxton.  My favorite film of all time is Twister .  One of his final roles was on the TV series, Training Day , which I've  heard isn't great.  But I have heard very good things about the movie.  So thank you, Bill Paxton, for leading me to this movie. LAPD Officer Jake Hoyt (Ethan Hawks) gets the opportunity for a "training day" in a special narcotics unit, run by Detective Alonzo Harris (Denzel Washington).   Training Day  follows the events of this one day, as Jake learns the ropes from Alonzo, who teaches Jake that you have to get a little dirty to survive in his unit.  But as the day winds down, and Jake gets dirtier and dirtier, he has to decide how much is too much, and accept the consequences. What Works: Training Day  works because of Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke.  Washington is amazing in the role.  He won Best Actor at the Academy Awards.  He's so charismatic and...

"Did you know the human eye can see more shades of green than any other color?" -Lorne Malvo The fourth episode of Fargo,  "Eating The Blame" follows Lorne Malvo (Billy Bob Thornton) and Don Chumph (Glenn Howerton) continue to torment the Super Market King of Minnesota, Stavros Milos (Oliver Platt).  After the blood in his shower, Lorne and  Don  further manipulate Stavros into believing God is punishing him by infesting one of his stores with crickets. Gus Grimly (Colin Hanks) responds to a call at Stavros' house about the murder of his dog, but spots Lorne outside and arrests him.  Gus calls Molly Solverson (Allison Tolman) to come over to Duluth to interrogate Lorne, but Chief Bill  Oswalt (Bob Odenkirk) won't let her and goes in her place.  Lorne manages to BS his way out of prison by convincing Oswalt and the Duluth Chief of police that he is actually a Lutheran minister.  It's hilarious watching the murderous Lorne pretend to ...

Normally, when I hear that Hollywood is planning on making a sequel to a beloved children's film, but updating it for modern audiences, I shudder at the thought.  But, when I saw the trailer for Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (hereafter referred to as Jumanji 2), I actually thought it looked good.  Was I right?  Does Jumanji 2 got it going on? Four high school students, geeky Spencer (Alex Wolfe), jock Fridge (Ser'Darius Blain), narcissistic, popular girl Bethany (Madison Iseman), and studious, but snarky Martha (Morgan Turner), all end up in detention.  Forced to clean out a storage room, they come across an old video game called Jumanji, and decide to play it.  They get sucked into the game and find themselves in the bodies of the video game characters.  Spencer is now the immensely strong and brave Dr. Smolder Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson).  Fringe is now the weak and tiny Mouse Finbar (Kevin Hart).  Bethany is now a male, the overweight...

Apparently, I didn't have a childhood because I never saw Jumanji growing up.  I had never even heard of it until I was in high school.  I saw Zathura, but my friends acted like I had murdered a baby because I had never seen this Robin Williams, jungle, board game movie.  So guess what, I finally watched it!  Does Jumanji live up to the hype?  Does Junmanji got it going on? In 1969, Alan Parrish (Adam Hann-Byrd), a bullied kid, finds a buried chest in a construction site.  Inside, he finds a board game called Jumanji.  When he and his friend, Sarah (Laura Bell Bundy) play the game, Alan gets trapped inside the jungle, and when bats attack Sarah, she flees the house leaving Alan trapped inside. 26 years later, orphans Judy (Kirsten Dunst) and Peter (Bradley Pierce) move into the old Parrish house with their aunt.  Judy and Peter find the board game, accidentally releasing monkeys, lions, and other animals into their small town.  T...

I typically don't watch a lot of exploitation, B-movies.  And when I do, I don't expect to be impressed by them.  They are usually pretty forgettable.  Is that the case for this one, or does Nightmare in Badham County got it going on? While on a road trip, college students Cathy (Deborah Raffin) and Diane (Lynne Moody) run afoul of the racist Badham County Sheriff (Chuck Connors).  The Sheriff arrests them on bogus charges, rapes Diane, and prevents them from using a phone or lawyer, before using his cousin, the judge of Badham County, to arrange for the girls to be sent to the local work farm.  The inmates are used as slave labor and are regularly beaten and tortured.  The camp is racially segregated, separating the girls, preventing them from easily planning their escape.  As the guards continuously extend their sentences, Cathy and Diane have to figure out a way to communicate and escape from the prison before they are trapped forever or ...

Netflix can be pretty hit and miss when it comes to horror movies.  See The Open House review.  But, when it comes to horror-comedies, it's been solid.   Little Evil , for example.  But how does The Babysitter compare? When his parents go away for the weekend, 12-year old, anxiety-riddden, nerd Cole (Judah Lewis) is stuck being babysat for the weekend by Bee (Samara Weaving), who is super attractive, really cool, and defends Cole from bullies.  After Bee sends Cole to bed, she invites some friends over.  Cole spies on what seems to be a game of Truth or Dare, but it escalates when Bee murders one of the others and it's revealed they are part of a satanic cult and need Cole's blood to finish their ritual.  Cole will have to overcome his fear and fight back if he wants to survive. What Works: Cards on the table, I f**king loved this movie.  It's funny, intense, and the gore and violence is waaaaayyyy over-the-top.  So exactly my kind...

"Gotta say, I'm super ticked here." - Bill Oswald The 3rd episode of Fargo picks up with Deputy Molly Solverson (Allison Tolman) going down to Minneapolis to investigate the kidnapping of the frozen man she found in the woods.  She manages to get security footage of Lorne Malvo (Billy Bob Thornton) dragging the man out of his office. Meanwhile, back in Bemidji, Lester Nygaard (Martin Freeman) decides to go back to work.  He is approached by Fargo hitmen Wrench (Russell Harvard) and Numbers (Adam Goldberg).  Before they can get any information out of Lester, Molly arrives, forcing the hitmen to leave.  Molly "accidentally" lets Lester see a picture of Lorne, and Molly deduces that Lester knows him.  But Chief Bill Oswald (Bob Odenkirk) has no interest in going after Lester. In Duluth, Gus Grimly (Colin Hanks), discovers that the car Lorne was driving when he pulled him over actually belongs to Lester.  He informs his Lieutenant, who is fu...

After watching all of the main tentpole horror franchised, I didn't know what horror movies to watch next.  So I turned to Reddit and asked the horror subreddit what horror franchised I should watch next.  The first comment was Cold Prey .  So, I decided to go back to my Norwegian roots and check out this frosty film. Cold Prey follows a group of friends who decided to go snowboarding in the remote mountains of Norway.  When one of them breaks their leg, they take shelter in an abandoned ski resort.  Unfortunately, they aren't alone.  A psycho killer also lives in the resort, and he wants to add more bodies to his collection. What Works: Cold Prey is a pretty standard slasher movie, but it has two things going for it.  First of all is the setting.  The Norwegian mountains are beautiful and it works as a great setting for the movie.  The logic of them being trapped makes sense and you aren't screaming at the characters for maki...

Welcome to the first print version of my famous Snubby Awards.  The fist two Snubby Awards for 2016 and 2017 were done on video.  I'll link to them at the bottom of the article.  I have decided to move the Snubby's over to my blog instead.  The Snubby's take a look at all of the Best Picture nominees for a given year at the Academy Awards and ranks them from best to worst.  If the highest ranked film did not win Best Picture, it wins the coveted Snubby Award. If the film that did win Best Picture is the highest ranked film, no Snubby is awarded.  They already have the Oscar.  They don't need another trophy.  Let's not be greedy. We have eight films to look at: American Sniper, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Boyhood, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Imitation Game, Selma, The Theory of Everything, and Whiplash.  Birdaman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) won Best Picture.  Did it deserve to win, or did so...