Eight Legged Freaks (2002) Review

 "They're not aliens!  They're spiders mutated by contaminated waste!"

-Deputy Pete


When a barrel of toxic waste falls off the back of a truck, a nearby exotic spider farm is soon contaminated.  The spiders quickly grow massive and begin attacking the citizens of Prosperity, Arizona.  It's up to Chris McCormick (David Arquette) and Sheriff Sam Parker (Kari Wuhrer) to save their town from the arachnids.


What Works:

I really wanted to like this movie, but I didn't.  It has a couple of decent action beats and that's about it.  Early in the film, we get a sequence where the spiders attack a group of dirt-bikers.  It's a fun little sequence, especially when one of the bikers kicks a spider while in midair.

The only other sequence I liked was the big spider attack on the town.  The chaos was fun and gave us a few entertaining moments.  The best one was where one of the citizens escapes a trapdoor spider by dropping a ladder on top of it. 


What Sucks:

On paper, this movie is very similar to one of my favorite films: Tremors.  Monsters attack a small desert town.  Eight Legged Freaks is a terrible version of Tremors.  The characters of Tremors are colorful and interesting, even if we don't learn a ton about their backstory.  In Eight Legged Freaks, the characters are boring.  They have no depth and they don't grow or change at all over the film.  I couldn't become engaged in the story because I didn't care about the characters.

Tremors has a very clean landscape for the action.  We know the layout of the town and the general area.  We get several wide shots showing off the setting early in the film.  We never get anything like that here.  We never see the scope of the town or where locations are in relation to each other.  It makes it more difficult to figure out where characters are going and how big a task it is to get there.

Tremors has many funny moments, but the giant worms are played completely straight.  They are a threat and are treated as such.  While that's true part of the time in Eight Legged Freaks, the spiders themselves are treated comically and make a lot of weird noises.  It reminded me of Gremlins.  That type of behavior works fine for those weird supernatural creatures, but for giant spiders it is tonally awkward.  The spiders needed to be played straight and portrayed as a threat 100% of the time.

Finally, the CGI is just embarrassing.  The spiders look terrible and I groaned many times watching the film.  I've seen better CGI in 90's films and this came out in 2002.


Verdict:

Eight Legged Freaks has a couple of fun action beats, but it's a terrible version of Tremors with awful characters, weak humor, and horrendous CGI.  Don't waste your time.

 2/10: Awful 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Argylle (2024) Review

Image
 "The human skull is shockingly brittle." -Aidan Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a very successful spy novelist.  She draws attention from the espionage community when plot points in her books come true.  When Elly is attacked on a train by a group of spies, she is rescued by another spy, Aidan (Sam Rockwell), who needs her help with his mission and to do that, she needs to write another chapter of her latest book. Spoilers Below.  Go ahead and read on because I don't recommend this movie, but either way, you've been warned. What Works: Argylle has a really fun premise that really works in the first half of the movie.  It's a fish-out-of-water, buddy-cop, spy movie, and it's a blast.  Watching Ellie predict where to go based on what the characters in her books would do is a lot of fun.  It's what the whole movie should have been. The opening sequence follows Agent Argylle (Henry Cavill) on another dangerous mission as he pursues the villainous LaGrang
Read more

Top 10 Movies of 2023

Image
2023 is finally over and it's time for me to put my Top 10 list together.  2023 was definitely a weaker year for movies.  There were definitely some great movies, but there were also plenty of disappointing and bad movies as well.  I still managed to put together a great Top 10 with a couple of worthy contenders that just missed the cut.  Let's take a look! #10. They Cloned Tyrone They Cloned Tyrone is a wild and fun sci-fi tale that takes place in the hood.  A drug dealer, a pimp, and a prostitute discover a cloning conspiracy and the results are intelligent and hilarious.  This is a really smart and funny movie with some amazing performances across the board.  This was a movie that kept me guessing the whole way through.  What an absolute blast. #9. Renfield I'm guessing Renfield will be the most controversial entry on my list as I feel like I'm the only person who liked this movie.  I love the old Universal monster movies and the fact that we get a direct sequel, whi
Read more

Madame Web (2024) Review

Image
 "When you take on the responsibility, great power will come." -Santiago Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson), a New York paramedic, hits her head in an accident, which unlocks the ability to see glimpses of the future.  When she sees Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim) attempting to murder three teenage girls, Cassie intervenes to save them.  As Cassie learns to understand her power, she also discovers the connection between her, the girls, and Ezekiel. What Works: I think the core idea at the center of this movie is a good one and has the potential to be interesting.  Cassie's superpowers are kinda lame.  It's not like they're going to help in a combat situation.  Ezekiel is basically evil Spider-Man.  He has legitimate powers and is a massive threat.  That's an interesting conflict.  How does someone with lackluster superpowers take on a supervillain.  It's a fun idea that I would like to see tried again with greater success.  What Sucks: This movie was embarrassing to
Read more