Argylle (2024) Review

 "The human skull is shockingly brittle."

-Aidan

Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a very successful spy novelist.  She draws attention from the espionage community when plot points in her books come true.  When Elly is attacked on a train by a group of spies, she is rescued by another spy, Aidan (Sam Rockwell), who needs her help with his mission and to do that, she needs to write another chapter of her latest book.

Spoilers Below.  Go ahead and read on because I don't recommend this movie, but either way, you've been warned.

What Works:

Argylle has a really fun premise that really works in the first half of the movie.  It's a fish-out-of-water, buddy-cop, spy movie, and it's a blast.  Watching Ellie predict where to go based on what the characters in her books would do is a lot of fun.  It's what the whole movie should have been.

The opening sequence follows Agent Argylle (Henry Cavill) on another dangerous mission as he pursues the villainous LaGrange (Dua Lipa).  This sequence is like the opening sequence of a Bond movie and reminded me a lot of Kingsman.  It's a really fun sequence with perfectly cheesy performances from Cavill, Lipa, and John Cena.  It gets the movie started on the right foot and it's my favorite part of the movie.

Sam Rockwell is about as charming as it gets and he gives an excellent performance as a goofy spy.  He steals every scene he is in and is the only thing that got my through the 2nd half of the movie.

Finally, there is one really fun action sequence in the 3rd act.  Elly and and Aidan fight off a bunch of goons using smoke grenades and we get a very colorful sequence.  It's wonderfully over-the-top and again gave off some Kingsman vibes.  

What Sucks:

This movie falls apart in the 2nd half at an incredible speed.  We get plot twist after plot twist thrown at us, which changes up the movie a few times.  It's honestly too many plot twists because so much changes that we lose our connection to the characters and story.  Why bother getting attached if everything is just going to be mixed up again?  It's too much and makes the movie incredibly unfocused.  Having a spy writer dragged into a real spy mission is a great premise.  Everything else was unnecessary.

I've never been a Bryce Dallas Howard fan.  I haven't really liked her in anything I've seen.  She's totally serviceable in the first half of this movie, but I just don't buy her in the 2nd half as a super spy.  I feel like she was miscast in the role.  It doesn't help that the character becomes much less interesting when we learn her real backstory. 

Some of the action sequences are fun, but most of them aren't.  There's some really bad CGI and some of the early action sequences swap between Aidan and Argylle in the middle of the action.  It's really unnecessary.  It turns out it's part of the main plot twist with Elly's backstory and I get what they were going for, but I just wish the whole twist of Elly being a spy was dropped.  It doesn't work and takes away from original storyline, which is actually fun.

Finally, the ending and the post-credit scene are both so stupid that it hurt my brain.  I was considering giving this movie a 6 out of 10 until the double whammy of these two scenes made me stop in my tracks.  First, at a book signing, somehow Henry Cavill shows up in a mullet.  Like, what?  Argylle was a fictional character and then the movie ends with someone who looks exactly like him showing up?  What even is that?!

As for the post-credit scene, we learn that Argylle was actually a Kingsman Agent and the next movie in the series will be an Argylle/Kingsman crossover.  I groaned in the theater.  The Golden Circle was okay, but the King's Man sucked.  Now we're doing a crossover with this mediocre spy movie?  Just stop, Matthew Vaughn.  Do something else.  You captured lightning in a bottle with the first Kingsman.  Clearly, you can't do it again.  I'm over it.  

Verdict:

Argylle starts strong with a great opening sequence, a solid premise, and a good performance from Sam Rockwell.  However, the movie falls apart with a ton of plot twists that severs any connection you felt to Elly and makes her a much less interesting character.  The action sequences are hit and miss, Bryce Dallas Howard was miscast, the movie is too long, and the endings either don't make sense or tease at future movies that nobody wants.  I liked the first half of this movie enough that I won't call it a bad film, but the 2nd half prevents it from being a good film.

 5/10: Sigh...