Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

 "I'm tired of confiscating saws." -Jeff Winger "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy" picks up with Annie (Alison Brie) throwing a baby shower for Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) and doing her best to make both Andre (Malcolm Jamal Warner) and Chang (Ken Jeong) feel included.  Shirley thanks Annie, but makes it clear that no matter who the biological father is, the baby will be raised by Shirley and Andre.  Chang says that if the baby is his, he at least wants to be an uncle to the child. Later, Shirley asks Jeff (Joel McHale) to help get Chang to sign a forfeiture of parental rights document since Chang is currently living with Jeff.  He reluctantly agrees, but when he tries to get Chang to sign it, Chang becomes emotional because he thinks this might be his last chance to be a father.  Jeff tells him he isn't fit to be a father because he doesn't have a job or a place of his own.  Chang misinterprets Jeff's words and believes that if he gets h...

 "Not everybody here's gonna make it to graduation." -Sophi Balerdi Survivor is back, baby!  And what's interesting this time is that we know two of these people are going to be on season 50 as well, so not only am I trying to guess who the winner is, but which two are returning!  The premiere was fun, but I have to admit that I don't think I would get along with most of the people on the island.  It looks like we have a lot of weirdos this season, but that can make for interesting TV and gameplay, but it does make me glad I'm not on this season.  Let's take a look at who played well and who sucked! Who Played Well: We'll start over on Hina, who we didn't see much of, but we did get to see Steven forming bonds with Matt, Jason, and MC.  It's a start for all of them.  I'm worried that Steven's paranoia may get to him sooner or later, but for now, all of them had a good enough start. Over on Kele, Sophi B had a great episode.  She isn...

 "That guy's such a mess.  It's like God spilled a person." -Troy Barnes "Intro to Political Science" picks up with Pierce (Chevy Chase) returning from rehab.  As they reluctantly prepare to actually study, the Dean (Jim Rash) arrives to let them know Vice President Joe Biden is visiting Greendale to meet with the Dean and the student body president, which currently doesn't exist, so they are having an election.  Abed (Danny Pudi) mentions that this must be why Greendale has been under so much surveillance recently.  The others don't believe him, but the Secret Service realize their surveillance operation has been compromised. Annie (Alison Brie) is very enthusiastic about running for president and asks the others to help with her campaign, but Jeff (Joel McHale) is so cynical about politics that he puts in less than the bare minimum.  After Annie insults him about not being a lawyer, Jeff decides to run as well and only says meaningless, patriotic r...

 "It takes a heavy sack to sign up for this contest." -The Major Every year, fifty teenage boys are selected to compete in The Long Walk.  Fall below the speed of 3 miles per hour too many times and the military convey surrounding the competitors will give you your ticket out of the competition.  The Walk doesn't have a finish line.  It keeps going until there's only one Walker left standing. What Works: So cards on the table, I love the book The Long Walk .  It was the first Stephen King book I ever read and it remains my favorite to this day.  I've always wanted to see a movie adaptation, but I was nervous that the filmmakers might not do it justice.  I was so excited to watch this, but I was also very anxious.  With a massive sigh of relief, I can say this is an extremely worthy adaptation. Let's start with what they kept from the novel.  Obviously the basic story is the same, but the most important feature beyond that is the dialogue. ...

 "Well, what do I know?  I'm Jeff Winger's dumb, gay dad." -Britta Perry "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking" picks up with the study group arriving at the hospital after learning about Pierce's (Chevy Chase) overdose.  Abed (Danny Pudi) is already there because Pierce asked him to film a documentary on what is about to transpire.  Pierce tells the study group that he is dying and is going to bequeath gifts to all of them.  Pierce isn't actually dying, but is planning on getting revenge on the others for not treating him with respect. Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) is the first to receive her gift; a CD, which Pierce claims is a recording of the others talking badly about her behind her back. Britta (Gillian Jacobs) is next.  Pierce gives her a check for $10,000 to give to a charity of her choice, but, as she leaves, he mentions there isn't anything stopping her from giving herself the money, which makes Britta feel extremely guilty, as she could...

 "Books!" -Abed Nadir "Early 21st Century Romanticism" picks up with Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) both crushing on a librarian, Mariah (Maite Shwartz).  They get her attention by periodically yelling "Books!" before pretending like they are asleep.  Since they both like her, they ask her to attend the Valentine's Dance with both of them to get to know them and decide who she would like to see again.  Mariah agrees. When the study group meets, several of them express concern about the amount of painkillers Pierce (Chevy Chase) is taking.  Britta (Gillian Jacobs) arrives and the group sees her say goodbye to her new friend, Page (Brit Marling).  Britta tells the group that Page is a lesbian, so Pierce, assuming Britta is dating Paige, reads off a prepared statement, which is offensive, but surprisingly supportive.  Pierce then pops another painkiller and moonwalks out of the room.  When the rest of the group suggests an intervention, J...