Diamonds Are Forever (1971) Review

 "You just killed James Bond!"
-Tiffany Case



After hunting down and killing his nemesis, Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Charles Gray), James Bond (Sean Connery) is assigned to investigate a diamond smuggling ring.  James infiltrates the group, but discovers the smugglers are being killed off one-by-one.  He has to continue up the chain which is connected to a wealthy businessman, Willard Whyte (Jimmy Dean).


What Works:

Far and away my favorite part of this movie are the two main henchmen, Mr. Wint (Bruce Glover) and Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith).  These two are hilarious and like to kill their victims in a creative fashion whenever they can.  Their scenes are always a blast and it is kinda cool to have a gay couple as Bond henchmen.  They even get remarkably close to killing Bond by trying to cremate him.

Wint and Kidd are very campy characters and this is a very campy movie.  I like James Bond movies, period.  It doesn't matter to me if they are deathly serious or goofy.  Diamonds Are Forever is one of the goofiest in the series, to the point where it's bizarre at time.  I really don't mind because we get the moon buggy chase, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, and other fun elements along the way.

One of the few non-campy elements of this movie is the elevator fight between Bond and Peter Franks (Joe Robinson).  This fight is definitely the best action sequence of the movie.  It gets really creative in such a cramped scape and there is some creative camerawork to go along with it.  It's brutal compared to the rest of the film and definitely a highlight.

Finally, the music is really great here.  I'm a fan of the theme song sung by Shirley Bassey and the Wint and Kidd theme adds a lot of mystery and suspense.  It makes it feel like a noir detective story at times that's an easy way to win me over.


What Sucks:

Sean Connery returns to play Bond again after George Lazenby decided not to return, and you know what?  I wish Lazenby had stayed.  I love Connery in the first few films, but he really phones in his performance here.  It's obvious he doesn't care about this movie at all and is only in it for the paycheck.  It's really a bummer.

This is also the movie that follows up to the shocking ending of On Her Majesty's Secret Service.  This?  This is what we get?  The fact that Bond's wife was murdered is never even brought up.  This really should have been more in line with License to Kill or Quantum of Solace.  Bond should have been out for blood in his hunt for Blofeld.  That's another reason why I wish Lazenby would have done one more film.  He most likely would have given a better performance and it would have felt more impactful to see him on this mission.  I do like campy Bond, but I don't think this was the proper time for a campy movie.

Speaking of Blofeld, Charles Gray takes over from Telly Savalas and he is...not great.  He's a bottom tier Bond villain for sure and lacks all of the intimidation that Savalas had.  He's not even a competent villain with all of his schemes being easily foiled because he basically lets Bond go every time he captures the agent.  If he's not my least favorite Bond villain, he's very close.

Finally, we have out Bond girl, Tiffany Case.  Her first couple of scenes are pretty good, where she is shown to be clever and knows a thing or two about diamond smuggling, but once they get to Las Vegas, she is not only useless but occasionally actively detrimental to Bond's mission.  Plus the actress, Jill St. John, isn't very good and gives some peculiar, if not terrible, line deliveries.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, I like it when the Bond girls are competent and can put Bond in his place from time to time.  That isn't the case with Tiffany Case.


Verdict:

I enjoy Diamonds Are Forever thanks to its campy tone, great music, fun action, and, of course, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, but the timing of this movie was just bad.  This was not the Bond movie we needed and Connery, Gray, and St. John don't make it any better.  I like the movie, but it's probably my least favorite Bond movie, though that may change over the course of this re-watch.

 6/10: Okay 


#1. From Russia with Love

#2. Goldfinger

#3. On Her Majesty's Secret Service

#4. Dr. No

#5. Thunderball

#6. You Only Live Twice

#7. Diamonds Are Forever


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