Bullet Train (2022) Review

 "Are you sure you don't want to talk this out?"
-Ladybug



Ladybug (Brad Pitt) boards a bullet train to retrieve a briefcase.  It should be a simple job, but unfortunately the train is full of assassins and maniacs who have intersecting assignments.  It is luck or is it fate?


What Works:

This movie has a phenomenal cast with a bunch of wacky characters.  Brad Pitt puts in a very unusual performance for him.  He's more of a zen hippie who used to be an assassin.  It's a fun character to throw in the middle of all the violence and Pitt does a fantastic job.

My other favorite character is Lemon, played to perfection by Brian Tyree Henry.  He's also an assassin but he learned everything he knows about people from watching Thomas the Tank Engine, which was my favorite show when I was a kid.  His knowledge of the characters and their personalities isn't just a character quirk, it's a key plot point.  I never thought my knowledge of Thomas the Tank Engine would be so useful.  It's absolutely hilarious and whenever they were talking about who on the train was a Diesel, I couldn't stop grinning.

The action is top notch and with so many assassins on board, you know we are going to get a lot of fight sequences.  They are all great and a lot of fun.  Are they over the top?  Yes.  Are they an absolute blast to watch?  Yes.

I think that's what I appreciate most about this movie.  It's so over the top.  I love movies like this.  A friend of mine has called me an enthusiast for dumb bullshit.  I take that as a huge and accurate compliment.  It's dumb, ridiculous fun and I'm all here for it.  If you like that kid of thing, Bullet Train is right up your alley.

Finally, this movie has some deeper things to say when it comes to fate and luck.  The whole message of the movie is looking at everything from a broader scope to see if this is really all just coincidence or if this was destined to happen this way.  It's actually really interesting.  Even something as trivial as buying a water bottle can have a major impact on peoples lives and I really like how the movie explores that.


What Sucks:

I got nothing for you.


Verdict:

Bullet Train is actually my 3rd favorite movie of 2022 so far.  I loved everything about.  The characters, the action, and the themes are all fantastically done and I can't remember smiling during a movie as much as I did with Bullet Train.  It felt like this movie was specifically made for me and that's a wonderful feeling.  Other people probably won't love it as much as I did, but if you have an enthusiasm for dumb bullshit, this may be the movie for you.  It has 100% got it going on.

 10/10: Amazing 


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