The Wicker Man (2006) Review

"NOT THE BEES!"

-Edward Malus

Policeman, Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage), receives a letter from his ex-fiancé, Willow Woodward (Kate Beahan), who he hasn't seen in years.  Willow tells him her daughter, Rowan (Erika Shaye Gair), is missing, so Edward travels to her home, which is on a remote island amongst a group of neo-pagens, who live in a faming commune.  Edward runs into difficulty as the islanders claim they have no idea who Rowan is, but Edward quickly finds evidence that they are lying.  Knowing something terrible is going to happen, Edward is in a race against time to find Rowan before the mysterious fertility ritual can begin.

What Works:

Let me just say up front, The Wicker Man remake is not a good movie.  At all.  But, I would say it's so bad it's kinda good.  There are parts of this movie that could be considered negative traits, but I consider them positives because they make this movie so enjoyable to watch.  I'll get to those, but first I have two legitimate positives of this movie.  First is the cinematography.  This movie looks good and feels like a movie.  At least, on a technical level, somebody knew what they were doing on this set.

My other compliment is that they removed the staunch-Christianity from the protagonist.  Howie, from the original, came off a really intolerant and hypocritical when it came to the religious stuff.  And while Edward is quick to condemn the neo-pagen rituals in this movie, he is at least not hypocritical about it.  It makes Edward a more likable character in some ways than Howie.

The rest of my praise for this film is because it's so bad it's good.  This movie is absurd, especially in the 3rd act.  Watching Nicolas Cage run around in a bear suit and punch a woman in the face may be one of the funniest things I have ever seen.  It's just so bizarre that you can't help but enjoy it.  The "not-the-bees" scene is another one.  Cage's screams are so odd that you can't help but laugh about the oddity of it all.  The whole movie is simply odd, with a bunch of head-scratching moments that I know I enjoyed.

I also though the opening sequence was hilarious.  I still not entirely sure what happened there, but starting off your movie with the violent death of a kid is always a good way to get my attention and with such an absurd death as this one, I was laughing my ass off (not sure what that says about me).  It was a great tone-setter for this movie and immediately got me onboard.

Finally, I enjoyed Nicolas Cage's performance.  I know it's over the top and a little wild, but that's how I love my Cage.  Plus, his daughter is missing.  I think most people would act a little crazy in that situation.  I liked how pissed off he got.  I liked him threatening to shoot people.  I liked his attempts at fighting the neo-pagans.  Hell, I liked his character and was genuinely rooting for him.  But, I may be biased.  I'm a huge Cage fan in both an ironic and an un-ironic way. 

What Sucks:

There are absolutely some bland parts to this film.  I did get board a few times.  The absurdity isn't constant by any means.  There are some very long stretches without anything of interest and it's hard to maintain focus at those points.

There are far too many references to the original film that just don't work.  This isn't an exact remake.  Enough has been changed that a lot of the references simply don't work with the change in context.  The filmmakers should have not focused so much on the original film and concentrated on making their own movie.

There are definitely some parts of the movie I simply don't understand, mainly with the flashbacks.  The film is very unclear with what happened there. The whole thing is simply bizarre, but not in a fun way this time.  

Verdict:

The Wicker Man remake may not be a good movie, but it is so-bad-it's-kinda-good.  The cinematography is solid and like the changes made to the protagonist from the original.  The bear suit and the bees are fantastic, and the overall absurdity makes parts of this movie really fun to watch.  I also enjoyed Cage's performance.  The movie has its flaws: it's boring at times, confusing at others, and has too many pointless references to the original film.  I can't recommend this movie, but I will give it the highest possible score I can without recommending the film.  Unless you want a bad movie to watch, stay away from The Wicker Man.

 5/10: Bad, But Kinda Good