Jupiter Ascending (2015) Review

"I hate my life."

-Jupiter Jones

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) hates her life working as a maid until she becomes the target of several groups of aliens; some wanting her alive, others dead.  She is rescued by a genetically engineered tracker, Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), and they discover she is a reincarnated member of the powerful House of Abrasax and is the rightful heir to planet Earth, but there are those that would see her die before she can claim what is hers.

What Works:

From a technical level, this film is amazing.  The special effects are marvelous and a sight to behold.  This movie looks great and if plug your ears and just watch, you'll have a great time.

The action sequences have great energy, thanks to the excellent special effects.  They have plenty of fun moments and are pretty exciting.

Channing Tatum does a good job with what he is given and his character is interesting.  He's half-human and half-canine, which is an unusual for a love interest, but I was on board for it.

Finally, Eddie Redmayne's acting is absolutely insane and doesn't belong anywhere near this movie, but I loved it.  It's so over-the-top and unbelievable, but it's certainly not forgettable.  I loved every second he was on screen and I only wanted more of him.

What Sucks:

The script is absolute nonsense and I had a very hard time following the story.  There is a ton of detail put into the world building, which is impressive, but it hurts the film.  I assumed this was an adaptation of a book and the movie just had a hard time telling us all of the necessary details, but that isn't the case.  This is an original script.  They needed to cut down on the details and focus on just telling the story.  By introducing so many unusual terms at the beginning of the film and not giving us explanations, all that's left for the audience is confusion.

I've read that this movie is popular among female sci-fi fans, which I don't really get.  It's great that we have a female protagonist in the genre, which is rare, but Jupiter is a pretty lousy representative.  90% of the movie is just her being rescued by Caine.  It's actually ridiculous how often that happens.  I was hoping that her character arc would be her saving Caine or saving the day in some capacity by the end, but that isn't really the case.  She does take on the villain alone, but ultimately is saved again by Caine.  It's an unsatisfying character arc.

Finally, there are a ton of characters in this movie and most of them had motivations that I didn't understand in the slightest.  I couldn't figure out who was doing what or why.  Some of these characters would also just disappear from the film and their stories never get resolved.  It feels like there were some missing scenes.

Verdict:

Jupiter Ascending is a technical masterpiece with some fun sequences and a great performance from Eddie Redmayne, but the script is completely nonsensical, the protagonist kinda sucks, and the movie as a whole is very confusing.

 5/10 Meh