Stacy's Blog Has Got It Going On

"I was inside a suitcase." -Jacob Kowalski A prequel to the Harry Potter series, Fantastic Beasts follows magizoologist, Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), as he travels to New York City with the intention of releasing a Thunderbird he rescued, but a bunch of magical creatures accidentally escape his care and start running wild across the city.  At the same time, a dark force is on the loose in New York and the American Wizarding Government, MACUSA, is investigating and about to cross paths with Newt... What Works: By far the best part of this film is Dan Fogler as Jacob Kowalski.  Jacob is completely non-magical and is accidentally thrust into this insane adventure, and is an absolute treat to watch.  His reactions to the chaos are just the best and absolutely hilarious.  Every scene with him is fun and I can only hope he gets as much screen-time in the sequel. The rest of the cast all does a solid job as well.  Newt, Tina (Katherine...

"Dear God, let me not die at the hands of the Swiss." -Johnny English After horribly failing a mission in Mozambique, Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) was dismissed from MI7.  Years later, MI7 catches wind of a plot to assassinate the Chinese Premier, but their only lead, Titus Fisher (Richard Schiff) will only meet with English.  MI7 is forced to bring English back into service and the agent quickly becomes the only one that can stop the sinister plot, as one of the villains may be an MI7 agent as well. What Works; The first Johnny English film was released before the Daniel Craig-era of the Bond films, but Reborn came out after Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace , which gives this sequel a lot of material to work with.  The Craig-films are very different from the rest of the Bond films, so Reborn has a darker story.  We actually see a few people get murdered, including one at the hands of Johnny English himself.  This gives this sequel a ...

"Um, it looks like Satan is here.  Should I start to worry?" -Mr. Clarkson The 7th episode of season 22 of South Park wraps up all of the story threads from the previous episode.  Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman manage to break out of jail and attempt to hide out from the police, who still believe they are responsible for all of the recent deaths in town.  As ManBearPig continues to rampage through South Park, killing everyone he runs into, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Satan are all visited by both Al Gore and the spirit of Al Gore, who convince them to try and stop ManBearPig, but both Al Gore's are very bad at explaining how to do so.  Satan tries to take on the beast himself, but is killed in the process. Stan realizes his grandfather, Marvin, and the other old people in town made a deal with ManBearPig years before hand and the beast is back to collect on what he was owed.  The old people were given luxurious cars and expensive ice cream, but spar...

"You are a vicious snowflake." -Red Miller Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) lives with his girlfriend, Mandy (Andrea Riseborough), in a fairly reclusive lifestyle in the woods.  One night, they are attacked by a group of hippie-cultists, led by Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache), who brutally murders Mandy.  Red embarks on a brutal and insane journey to kill the cultists and avenge Mandy. What Works: Mandy is perhaps the most bonkers movie I have ever seen.  I cannot understate how insane this film is.  What keeps it at least mildly grounded is Nicolas Cage.  He gives one his best performances as a normal guy driven to insanity.  We get plenty of Crazy-Cage, but we really understand his motivation and we're rooting for him.  He's a very likable character amidst all of the ultra-violence. The style for this movie is fantastic with insane lighting and shot competition.  It's certainly unique.  I've never seen a film do stuff like ...

"Hello, my name's Threat." -Christian Hubicki HOLY CRAP!  This was one of the best episodes of Survivor in years.  I was on the edge of my seat and losing my mind during that tribal council.  This episode was epic and to call it anything less would be a grave injustice.  But who had epic moves and who had epic fails?  Let's take a look. Who Played Well: We'll start with Alec, who probably had the best night of all the Goliaths.  He was the one who gave Nick the information he needed to mix things up, which is good for Alec's game.  Luckily, Nick did not blow up Alec's spot, so I think Alec will be the one Goliath the Davids will trust moving forward.  He's keeping his options open and options are always good. Moving on to Nick, Mr. Kentucky found the Vote Steal, helped convinced Davie to save Christian, and was involved in the brilliant plan of spitting the votes between Angelina and John.  I don't know who came up wi...

"First vandalism, then babies." -Sheriff Howell After the death of the family patriarch, the Doyle family moves to a new town where Leslie (Denise Crosby) is going to be the town mortician.  The mortuary is actually inside their new house, much to the displeasure of her children, Jonathan (Dan Byrd) and Jamie (Stephanie Patton).  As Jonathan notices strange occurrences in the house and outside, in the graveyard, he also learns the murderous and mysterious history of his new house, and he might be the only one who can save his family. What Works: The best part of Mortuary without a doubt is our protagonist, Jonathan.  Dan Byrd does a really good job with the material he is given and it's no wonder he has gone on to have a solid acting career.  He's really likable and not too moody.  For the classic character of a teenage boy forced to move to a new town, he's about as likable as you can get. Mortuary is a sort of infection/zombie movie....

"I don't care.  Just shoot me." -Lisbeth Salander  This soft reboot of the Millennium series follows hacker and vigilante Lisbeth Salander (Claire Foy) as she helps steal an extremely powerful computer program from the NSA.  Her theft quickly catches the attention of several groups and organizations that all want to get their hands on the program and Lisbeth, her friends, and allies all quickly find themselves in mortal peril.  As Lisbeth tries to sort out the mess, she discovers that one of the people after the program is from her past and has a bone to pick with her. What Works: I was skeptical of Claire Foy being cast as Lisbeth, who is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time, but she proved me wrong.  Foy does a solid job in the role.  She's tough and resourceful, likable, yet prickly.  Lisbeth is a phenomenal character and, for the most part, Foy does justice to the role. The action scenes are all pretty...