Black Christmas (2006) Review

"She's my family now."
-Billy Lenz



As a winter storm rolls in on Christmas eve, the sisters of Delta Alpha Kappa find themselves snowed in with a killer who used to live in the sorority house.  As the girls fight to survive, they realize the killer isn't working alone.


What Works:

I have a big fear of eyeballs.  I can't stand when any eyeball trauma happens in movies and Black Christmas may have the most eyeball trauma in a single film I have ever seen.  It's insane, over-the-top, and gruesome.  I have a hard time watching the scenes, but I respect the movie for going so far into one of my biggest phobias.

The only other thing I like about this movie is the lighting.  The filmmakers made good use of Christmas lights to give us some unique and colorful lighting.  It really makes the film feel more Christmas-y.


What Sucks:

The characters of Black Christmas suck.  The vast majority of them are super unlikable and impossible to root for.  Those that aren't unlikable are simply boring.  None of them standout in any way, shape, or form.

The characters are also incompetent.  They make so many stupid decisions that everyone should have been dead by the halfway point.  It's really frustrating to watch stupid and unlikable characters run around for 90 minutes.

This remake references some of the great kills of the original film, but tarnishes them.  They are given no setup and feel like a rushed version just to get the references in the film.  Do it right or don't do it at all.

Finally, I like my slasher movies to be fun.  Teenagers getting killed off in gory ways with some fun twists and turns.  This remake throws incest and sexual assault into the mix for no real reason other than to be shocking.  Nobody wanted this.  Nobody needed this.  It's a real mood killer.


Verdict:

Besides some cool lighting and sickening eyeball trauma, this remake of Black Christmas doesn't have anything going for it.  The characters are stupid, unlikable, and boring, the references to the original are poorly executed, and there is way too much incest and sexual assault for my taste.  It's marginally better than the 2019 remake, but nowhere close to the original.  

 2/10: Awful  

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