Ranking the Cabin Fever Movies

I recently watched the 2016 remake of Cabin Fever and finally finished watching all four of the films.  I gotta say, I wasn't a big fan of the series as a whole.  The idea of a grossly over-the-top, flesh-eating disease is awesome, but it was never put in the hands of the right director.  I wouldn't recommend any of these films, but that's never stopped me from ranking a series before *cough cough* Leprechaun *cough cough*, so let's get started and rank these movies from worst to best.  I think the order may surprise you.

#4. Cabin Fever (2016)

The remake of Cabin Fever is one of the least necessary movies ever made.  It uses the same script as the original film and does virtually nothing different.  It's baffling that this movie was made at all.  Sure, the gore is solid, it's at least competently made, and our protagonist doesn't molest anyone this time around.  However, the characters are still stupid and make generally terrible decisions, which isn't the end of the world, but it's all of the same crap from the first movie.  Why remake a film if you aren't going to do something different with the material?

 2/10: Awful 

#3. Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

Cabin Fever 2 starts off strong with the surprising return of Rider Strong from the previous film only to have him immediately die, which I enjoyed.  After that we get a pretty cool animated sequence that's really creative and interesting.  We also get some solid gore and a decent performance from lead actor John Sean, but the characters are all incredibly boring, we have to spend more time with Deputy Winston Olsen (Giuseppe Andrews), the worst character in the series, and there are a lot of weird moments surrounding the prom sequence that make me think the editor put some scenes in the wrong places.

 3/10: Really Bad 

#2. Cabin Fever (2002)

Yes, I did put the original Cabin Fever at spot number 2.  It's just barely better than the second film.  It gets points for the creativity of the premise.  I like the classic cabin-in-the-woods story with the killer being a disease.  It's an interesting twist.  It's got awesome gore and a few fun sequences.  The problem is the characters, who are all unlikable and make terrible decisions.  Our protagonist, Paul, who we are supposed to like, molests his love interest, which brings the movie way down as far as I'm concerned.  The dialogue has not aged well and the jokes are really offensive and off-color.  I'm not one to get offended easily, but the jokes have to at least be funny and that isn't the case in Cabin Fever.  Finally, the ending is very unsatisfying and just feels like sequel-bait.

 3/10: Really Bad 

#1. Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014)

The best film in the series is the 3rd film, Patient Zero.  It's still not great, but this one has at least some characters that are likable or interesting, if not both.  We get a star power boost in Sean Astin, who I enjoyed, and a decent protagonist in Marcus (Mitch Ryan), who I was actually rooting for to live.  The gore is great, we get some cool kills, and the island setting is always a plus for me.  It makes the isolation more believable and I can buy why the characters struggle to get help.  The story itself isn't all that interesting, especially as we get further into the film.  We also have the worst acting in the series in this installment, with the worst offender being Solly Durhan.  I have no idea how she was cast in this movie.  I could have done a better job in the role and that's pretty pathetic.  Patient Zero isn't a good movie by any means, but it's easily the best in the series.

 5/10: Meh 

So, what did you think of my rankings?  Did I nail it or am I dead wrong?  What's your order?