Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002) Review

"I don't like sand.  It's coarse and rough and irritating...and it gets everywhere."

-Anakin Skywalker

The second episode of Star Wars picks up 10 years after the events of the first movie.  Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman) is now a Senator for Naboo, and one of the chief opponents of a movement to create an army for the Republic, which is on the very of collapse due to a large amount of systems wanting to leave the Republic.  This Separatist movement is led by Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), a former Jedi. Padmé narrowly survive two assassination attempts, so she is sent back to Naboo with Jedi Apprentice, Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), who is madly in love with her, to protect her.   Meanwhile, Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), now a Jedi Master, is sent to track down the bounty hunter responsible for the attacks on Padmé, and discovers that someone has already created an army of clones for the Republic.

What Works 

Unlike The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones actually has some energy to it, so I'm not board to tears the entire time.  Most of the action scenes in this movie, though flawed, are at least entertaining. The speeder chase through Coruscant, the fight between Obi-Wan and Jango Fett (Temuera Morrison), and the execution via wild beast sequences are all all a lot of fun.

Obi-Wan's storyline is actually pretty good.  It comes off as a sort of political thriller as he tries to unravel the mystery.  There is some tension here and some interesting scenes, his scenes with Jango Fett and Count Dooku being the highlights.  And Ewan McGregor really is great.  He didn't get much to do in Phantom Menace, so it's nice that they actually use him in this one.

Finally, the story actually makes some sense this time around.  Phantom Menace was just so nonsensical, at least in this one I can actually understand what was happening, and for the most part it makes sense.

What Sucks:

On the flip side, Attack of the Clones has the worst scenes in the entire Star Wars series.  I am talking, of course, about the scenes between Anakin and Padmé, especially with their scenes on Naboo.  This love story is pretty much the focal point of the prequel trilogy, and it might just be the least believable romance ever captured on film.  They are even worst than Bella and Edward from Twilight.  They have zero chemistry, their dialogue is terrible, at no point do I ever believe Padmé is in love with Anakin.  At best, I could see her confessing her love to him right before the execution sequence to give him something to hold on to as they die, but than they survive and she feels too awkward about it to break up with him.  It's honestly, just the worst.  The Naboo scenes are particularly bad because there are no plot elements to distract us from this terrible romance.  The "I like sand" scene, though an amazing meme, is in my opinion, the lowest point of the series.

This brings me to the character of Anakin Skywalker.  I don't blame Hayden Christensen for this, I blame the writing and directing of George Lucas.  The problem with Anakin is he is a moody teen, an inherently unlikeable character.  He spends the entire movie complaining about how unfair his life is and pining after a girl he is obsessed with.  A likable character this does not make.  We can't relate to this guy, nor do we like him or care about him.  This is the main character of the series, we should like him and not want him to go to the dark side.  It should be an actual tragedy.  Instead, we get this whiny prick, who of course goes to the dark side because why wouldn't he?  Hayden Christensen was given an impossible task, and I do feel bad for him.  It's not his fault, it's George Lucas'.

There are also two action scenes I don't like.  The droid factory sequence just feels like filler and doesn't do anything for me.  Also, the lightsaber duels with Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Yoda (Frank Oz) facing off against Count Dooku is kind of a let down, especially considering how great the Darth Maul duel at the end of The Phantom Menace was.

Finally, the CGI in this movie has not aged well.  There are plenty of moments that just look bad.  Some of it (the Coruscant chase) still looks great, but there is plenty that looks awful.

Verdict:

Attack of the Clones is an extremely flawed movie.  It has the lowest lows of the entire series.  The Anakin-Padmé romance is just the worst and some of the CGI and action scenes are pretty bad.  That said, it's actually a fairly entertaining movie, and it's never boring, unlike The Phantom Menace.  It has good energy, some fun action scenes, a coherent plot, and Ewan McGregor getting to actually do things.  Even with it's flaws, I would recommend this movie.

 6/10: Ok